“There’s a problem with your blood tests” the words no one wants to hear. Ever. And certainly not at a routine pregnancy scan. Julie* writes
.Today I went for what I thought would be just a routine 12-13 week ultrasound of my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy had few complications and resulted in a beautiful little girl who’s nearly three now. All was going well, the scan looked great, until the counsellor pulled us aside and said the words no expectant woman wants to hear: ‘There’s a problem with your blood tests’.
My husband and I looked at the computer screen in confusion as we tried to make sense of the numbers in front of us that meant, at the end of it all, an increased risk of Down’s Syndrome to one in 82.
I’ve just turned 35, so in theory I knew the risks of this happening, but in my reality, it was never going to happen to me. I’m fit, I’m healthy, I had a successful first pregnancy, there’s no family history of abnormalities, we weren’t even trying to get pregnant, so why would it? But it has and did, and this shocking revelation was soon followed by a CVS (albeit on the fourth try thanks to a badly placed placenta and an uncooperative uterus – that’s what the Dr called it, an ‘uncooperative uterus’. It was about to be stuck with a HUGE needle; I don’t blame it for being uncooperative. If it could have burst out of my abdomen and run screaming from the room I would have cheered it on.)
As we went home clutching our thin, remarkably uninformative information leaflets, and with the added bonus of an increased chance of miscarriage for the next week, it all started to sink in. Just how am I supposed to make this kind of decision? I’m holding onto the Doctor’s words like a life vest, he assured us because the scan was perfect and there’s no family history, that a good outcome is most likely. And as my very logical husband pointed out, it’s only a 1.2% chance. But what if that’s not what happens? What if our surprise second baby has a chromosomal abnormality? Can I make the decision to kill the baby I felt moving for the first time today, the baby who waved at us with a tiny hand? Abortion is something that some friends have experienced, and something I consider to be every woman’s right. But it’s not something I ever wanted to have to make a decision about. But at the same time, raising a baby with special needs, needs that would seriously compromise its quality of life and that of our family, is also not a good choice. How can I make this decision and live with myself afterwards?
This is not helped by the fact that I have no friends that I know about who have had such a diagnosis. So I have no one to talk to. Nor is it help by all these Hollywood celebrities who seemingly have babies well into their forties with no problems, who have likely lulled more women than just me into a false sense of security.
Advice now please.
Top Comments
When you're in not good state and have no money to move out from that point, you will have to take the home loans. Because it would help you emphatically. I get credit loan every single year and feel fine just because of this.
When I was pregnant with my second child, a friend was also pregnant at the same time. At 18 wks, the ultrasound scan detected a minor abnormality and 4 scans later plus testing, it revealed that their baby girl had what looked like a 'cleft palate.'
Yes, my friend went through the agonies of plastic surgery being a girl and in the end, terminated her pregnancy. When her baby was born, the cleft palate was in fact, so minor as observed by the obstetrician and parents alike, that they then thought it a great shame to have terminated the baby!
There's always a risk having a baby. I guess it's how you calculate your risks and accept your decisions.