'I worked for 14 years as a detective in domestic violence. There was one case that broke me.'

Being a detective, you see the worst of the worst. 

From domestic violence to murder, gun violence, sexual assaults, drug-related crime, abuse against children, former detective Luke Taylor has sadly seen it all.

There are some cases that will stay with him forever.

"You try to focus on solving the case when on the job, but the victims and what they've been through always leave a mark," Taylor told Mamamia. "It was heavy work."

Watch: Luke Taylor shares his story with Mamamia. Post continues below.

With a love for the TV show NYPD Blue, Taylor decided at an early age that detective work looked fascinating. 

His first day on the job as a detective was in Cabramatta, in Sydney's south west. At the time "nobody wanted to go there" — that month alone there had been 53 shootings and stabbings in the area. There was a high level of gang-related violence and heroin use.

Taylor saw it as an opportunity.

Within a couple of days, he was being tasked with murder investigations. Later, he began working in sexual assault and domestic violence cases, as well as specialising as a Child Protection Sex Crimes Squad officer.

"With every single domestic violence case we saw there was not one that didn't involve alcohol or substance abuse of some kind among the perpetrators," Taylor told Mamamia. "There are cases that stuck with me, particularly horrible ones. There was one where a man poured petrol on his wife and set her alight. 

"We were never satisfied with what he told us and how the case played out," he continued. "He tried to say she had taken her own life. But you have this woman who is just under five foot who can apparently lift a 20 litre petrol container over her head and light herself. He claimed it was self immolation, but that just didn't add up at all.

"There was an allegation of infidelity against her too, which we saw as a motive on the husband's part. Planning had obviously gone into that attack. This wasn't a heat of the moment situation, it was so calculated."

For years, Taylor liaised directly with victim-survivors. He also encountered countless perpetrators.

His wife, Brenda, was also in the police force for as long as he was. They both left the job under similar circumstances.

"We would switch off from a hard day's work until it got to the point where we couldn't switch off. We reached a point where neither of us could do it anymore."

The stress of the job culminated in a mental health breakdown.

"I was working in child protection and we knew the burnout rate going into it, but it still hits you," he explained. "We'd have quarterly psych appointments, we'd check in often. But I was showing the signs for a long time that I was at the tipping point.

"I remember telling someone at work that I felt like I was losing the plot and I told them how angry I was getting about everything going on and the cases we were dealing with. And they just said, 'Oh it's healthy to get angry'. They gave me my gun back and sent me on my way."

A few months later, Taylor realised he wasn't okay. Eventually, he checked himself into a mental health facility and retired from policing. It was the best decision for his mental health.

"The response to trauma is complex," he said. "I'll check in with a professional a couple of times a year to keep on top of things. It's quite like alcohol where you'll never be cured from it if you're an alcoholic. You just have to keep vigilant, look for the signs that you're not okay and hope you're smart enough to do something about it."

There was one case in particular that Taylor sees as the catalyst for his retirement.

"We had a gruesome murder at Windsor. There were ties again to domestic violence, complex mental health and drug use. There was an attack on a woman with knives, delusions from the killer about devil worshipping, and it was horrific. There was a massive outpouring of emotion from the community and for me it was a real turning point. That was the moment when my brain started to shut down and say, 'I've had enough.'"

For almost 14 years, Taylor has been away from the detective world. 

There are certainly parts about the job he misses a lot, though his new career as an advocate and educator has been equally rewarding. 

Luke Taylor today. Image: Supplied.

"As a detective you really are making a difference in the job and that's what attracts you to it. When you investigate a murder, you're invited into the victim's family's life. And that's a real privilege to try and bring some sort of closure and justice," Taylor said.

"Now as an educator, it's the perfect second act. I'm using the same processes I learned on the job in educating students. For a while I tried to deny the fact of who I was in the past, but the kids in the classroom of course found out somehow. They often say, 'Tell us a story.'"

As part of his second act, Taylor founded Crime Story Australia. He hosts workshops where students authentically recreate crime scenes to learn how to problem solve and analyse. These skills, he said, are transferrable to any career path they pursue.

Right now, a lot of criticism is being levelled at police response to domestic violence, but Taylor feels there is some hope for the future. 

"We've seen it come so far. Even recognising coercive control for what it is, that's something we didn't do years ago. We didn't know the warning signs or have the language to articulate what we were seeing properly," he said.

"What we really need to see is every single police station having a whole unit dedicated to domestic violence. Yes, that takes money, but we know what has to be done. We can't sit back for another 20 years and not do anything."

If there's one thing Taylor wants people to know, it's this: be loud, and listen to victim-survivors.

"When I would finish interviewing kids in child protection I'd say to them, 'If anything like this happened again who would you tell?' And they wouldn't know how to answer it. I'd always say to them, 'Tell as many people as you can. Be loud.' There shouldn't be any shame for victim-survivors of any kind, domestic violence included.

"It's perpetrators who should be feeling the heat," he continued. "It takes time to change attitudes. But it will undoubtedly save lives."

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.

Feature Image: Instagram @crimestoryaustralia.