'I'm a personal shopper and these are the 9 things you'll never find in my wardrobe.'

I've worked as a personal shopper and fashion editor for over 20 years, which means I've seen plennnnty of trends come and go. 

Some gorgeous. Some awful. Some that I never want to see return! 

But during that time I've developed my own personal style - and now there is no going back. 

So to help you narrow down your search next time you go shopping, I've made a list of the nine items I'll never add to my closet - and what I'd replace them with instead. 

You can thank me later. 

Prints and florals.

I’ve lumped these two together because they’re both pesky items. They date quickly. They're never versatile. And they're hard to carry off because they often end up wearing the person. (I wore a print shirt once, it was the worst hour of my life). Give me minimalism and quiet luxury any day.

And who has time in the morning to style up prints and florals? It takes ages to get it right. Actually, who really KNOWS how to? Answer: Iris Apfel. And she wore them together. She was 102. It was her gift. 

My solution: I’d rather build a wardrobe of classic colours in modern shapes. It means I can get dressed with my eyes closed in five minutes flat. Opt for versatile, classic colours you love to build your wardrobe so that you can easily mix and match pieces. 

Bright colours. 

I avoid bright colours nearly as much as florals. For all the same reasons as above. (Too tricky. Too hard. Never versatile etc). Most importantly, bold colours like hot pink never look expensive unless they actually are (hello Valentino!). But if you're on a budget, then bold colours tend to look cheap. 

My solution: Opt for calm clothes in neutral tones like black, brown, beige, grey, navy and white. They look expensive but they don't have to be - and it makes getting dressed in the morning MUCH easier. 

Dated classics.

Yes, this a thing. Classics date. They don’t last forever. Fashion is about change. The cut, the shape, the arm hole, the length, the shoulder, the lapel, the collar and silhouette... everything changes. 

So for your classic items like blazers, white shirts, jeans, little black dresses and trench coats, they all need to be updated every seven years or so. That’s if you want to look modern and chic. (Hint: you do!) 

I might store the old ones and tenderly pat them every few years in the back of my wardrobe because they spark joy but I will probably never wear them (unless that style comes back around!) 

My solution: Update one classic piece every few years. Right now I love a slouchy blazer, a roomy tee, wide leg jeans and an oversized trench. You can't go wrong.

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Skinny jeans (or anything tight).

I said goodbye to skinny jeans 10 years ago and I haven’t looked back. I also said au revoir to anything tight and uncomfortable. And now my wardrobe is totally oversized and slouchy, I cannot bear to wear anything tight. It's so dated and never looks chic and effortless (which is my main aim in life!) 

Those skinny jeans that almost hurt? The tight white tee that shows EVERYTHING? The short tight blazer that feels as constrictive as a wetsuit? No, no and no! The only thing tight I might wear are leggings/stirrup pants (but with modern fabrics these days they’re so comfy!)

My solution: Go a size up! Slouchy and oversized clothes are modern and comfortable. And when you feel good, you look great.

Thongs and stilettos.

Both shoes you’ll never see me in. 

Thongs? Never have, never will. (ditto Crocs, don’t even go there) 

Those white plastic spongy Birkenstocks are my go-to. Perfect for the beach. Waterproof and chic. And so damn comfortable.

Those spindly thin high heel stilettos? Yes, I have been known to wear them back when they were in fashion, it’s true. 

My footwear at the moment is all about block heels, kitten heels and flats, flats and more flats. They're farshun and also heaven on the toes, so it's win-win. You can shop in them for hours without needing a panadeine. And run like a maniac to a warehouse sale. 

If heels ever come back into fashion, I will stay firmly on earth in my little kitten heels.

My solution: Opt for Birkenstocks, ballet flats, kitten heels and chunky flat boots.

Mini skirts.  

The question I ask all my personal shopping clients is: 'What part of the body do you want to show off and what do you want to hide?' 

I am not keen on showing my legs, so baggy trousers and midi skirts make me so happy. Both are in fashion right now and the choices are endless. 

But here’s the thing: when I say midi skirts I mean skirts that stop mid shin. Those MAXI to the ground skirts? They belong on the beach or at a ball.

My solution: Pick items that enhance the part of your body you want to show off, and hide the parts you don't. 

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Cutouts.

Which brings me to cutouts. What is it with those? I find a dress I love and then turn around and find holes in places you really don’t want to see. It’s a big no-go zone for me. 

If you love this trend and feel good in it, then please by all means go for it. In summer cuts-outs are great and bring their own built in air-conditioning. How lovely.  

Personally I avoid anything skin revealing (including cleavage). Is it an age thing? Probably. And I’d hate to scare small children. 

My solution: Always check back photos for sneaky holes when buying online. Show off what you love, hide what you don’t. 

A boat neck.

I realised years ago that a boatneck is never flattering. That neckline does not exist in my wardrobe. 

It does nothing for anyone. It shortens your neck (God forbid!) and changes the proportions of your shoulders and  waist. Not in a good way. 

You want a neckline that sits in neatly where the neck meets the shoulders.  

Now go into your wardrobe: I can guarantee the pieces you never wear have a bad boatneck. Am I right or am I right? The good news is it makes shopping easy and quick: keep walking past anything with that horrid neckline. You will thank me for it. 

My solution: Go for necklines that sit in at the bottom of the neck. Or if you have favorite boatneck, wear a blazer to hide it!

Beads and floral boho scarves.

Accessories can make or break an outfit. Beads and floral scarves will break it. I will never wear these things. At least not together. For a minimalist like me, Boho is a no no. Chanel said ‘take something off before you go out of the house". These things should not even be IN your house! 

They don’t zhoosh up any outfit you’re struggling with. In fact, they just make it worse. 

Instead, I love big dramatic earrings. A major cuff. A designer belt. A cashmere scarf.

My Solution: Stick to one dramatic accessory. If you update your classics you won’t have to resort to any silly beads and scarves to fix them. 

To see more from FiFi, you can follow her on Instagram here. 

Feature image: Instagram/@shopwithfifi.