11 weird home remedies you should probably never try.

About the time I was around eight or nine, my nana decided to go through a natural living stage.

Basically, her idea was that home remedies were the way to go. She went searching high and low for old time, traditional methods to treat our family, and boy did she find some doozies along the way.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Euky Bear Natural Cough Syrup. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.

So here, for your enjoyment, confusion and information if you’re so inclined, I present the weirdest home remedies I have ever come across.

1. Onions on the feet to cure coughing at night.

This is one that I’ve seen doing the rounds on Facebook recently. Basically the premise being that half a cut onion is applied to the base of the foot and this apparently stops incessant coughing. Most parents know that dressing a child is akin to wrangling an octopus into a string bag at the best of times, so God knows how I’m supposed to restrain him enough to stick half a soup pack on his foot. But it’s also good to know that a salt herring does the same thing, just in case you have one of those lying around too.

2. Earwax cures cold sores.

Whenever I hear something like this, my mind starts to wander. At what point in someone’s life do they sit there, feeling the anxious tingle of a cold sore and make that choice. The mind boggles. Never the less, if you find yourself in this situation with a hot date arriving imminently, forget the bathroom cupboard and turn first to your ears. I have absolutely no further information on this, nor do I want any.

3. Urine kills acne. And ear infections it would seem.

Once again, someone, somewhere: Wee plus Face.

It’s unclear whether this is to be your urine, or whether a friend can assist, but either way, don’t waste your money on unnecessary products from the shop, just splash some pee on your face. I’m sure that’s what Miranda Kerr does.

And hey, if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having an ear infection at the same time as an acne breakout, you can always just tilt your head to the side and get the wee – multi-tasking. Rumours have it that Elvis’s mum subscribed to the old wee cures ear infections trick. Burning love indeed.

Another option available to you in ear infection ville is to stuff moist tobacco into your ear. It’s unclear what the tobacco is to be moistened with. Probably wee. That seems to be a theme.

If tinkle facials are not really your thing, don’t fret pet, you still have options.

4. Tomatoes also kill acne.

Tomatoes also kill acne so I’m told. It’s very simple. Just take half a tomato. Pulverise the bejeebus out of it and apply for an hour at a time, twice a day. It sucks if you actually have to go out in public and you’ll probably smell like pizza sauce, but it’s your choice.

5.  Steam showers help clear the nose.

Now this is one that I know does actually work. Just add a shot of Eucalyptus Spray before turning on the hot water. However, the length of time it takes to achieve any sort of difference must be thought out well in advance. Just go in prepared is all I’ll say. I had heard that steam helps clear noses and chests and all that sick business, so there I sat with my toddler, on the floor of the bathroom with the shower cranking. Waiting…waiting…waiting. I’m sure you know, toddlers have no patience, so the next 20 minutes was basically just me trying to prevent him running out the door or into the scalding water. We counted cotton balls, rearranged bathroom cupboards and unrolled toilet paper. I think I even made some vague attempt to remove some old grout. After a significant time imprisoned together, I gave up when his interest in shoving things down the toilet was too much to handle.

6.  Back patting cures a chesty cough.

Here’s another one with probably some good merit, somewhere. That’s if you have a child who will sit still for more than three seconds. Last time my son developed a chesty cough, I decided to give that kid a massage someone at a day spa would be proud of, to try and get some night-time relief from the barking seal in the room down the hall. Except he wasn’t down for it. I patted and rubbed and played that kid like a bongo at carnival. But with his intent on running away from me, my cough relief resembled more with me attempting to swat a fly mid-air than actually aid the child in any particular manner.

7.  Socks and bacon for sore throats.

If you, like so many of us at the moment, is suffering the dreaded sore throat, help is at hand. Or foot. Apparently, according to some ancient nutbag, wrapping a dirty sock around your throat helps heal a sore throat. My guess is that the smell of the sock necklace actually provides such an assault on the nostrils that one forgets entirely that they do in fact have a sore throat.

Bacon can also be fashioned into some kind of neck wear to assist with sore throats apparently. However, if you’re anything like me, there is no way bacon would be safe that close to my face.

8. Got rheumatism? Get a snake.

Very simple. Find a rattlesnake (I’ve seen heaps around the city lately) and ideally kill it before it strikes you. Skin it. Dry it out and then put what remains into a jug of corn whiskey (I think Dan Murphy would have this, probably just keep to yourself what you plan on doing with it) and then consume the whiskey. Now, this just could be the cynical side of me talking, but I’m thinking that excess consumption of corn whiskey would probably fix any ailment you could think of for a short amount of time but I’m guessing side-effects of this treatment may include vomiting and headaches. Damn snakes.

9. Hear a whip bird and roll, for bad backs.

Done yourself an injury in the back department? Fear not, nanas got a remedy for that one too. Go and lie on a nice little patch of grass outside. When you hear the call of a whip bird, you are to roll over three times. Apparently, if you happen to catch the first ‘whip’ of the whip bird in spring, things are looking good for you because this is the most effective. Sucks if you’re injured in winter, or if whip birds are not native to your area. You could be waiting a while.

10. Turpentine will help your shingles.

Good old turpentine’s the cure for you here my friend. At your next outbreak of shingles, simply soak a string in turps and wear as a necklace. Yes, you’ll probably smell like a boozed up bar fly but no shingles! Winning!

11. Vodka stops stinky feet.

My thorough research tells me that vodka helps kill the bacteria that cause stinky feet. Alcohol, blah blah, antibacterial blah blah. To be frank with you, I’ve never had enough left over vodka to test this theory. The vodka in my house is used for other medicinal purposes.

Personally, most of the above nanas tips are a little bit bat-nut crazy for my liking and to be honest, I just don’t have the time to be seeking out rattlesnakes at 2am. So in order to restore the balance here, why not just turn to something that you know works. While the nutty home remedies might be someone’s cup of tea, for me, I’ll stick with being able to run down to the chemist and pick up something useful, natural (in a good way – no snakes required) and most of all proven to be effective when my kids are sick.

What do you do to cure an illness when you or your kids are sick?

Euky Bear Natural Cough Syrup provides natural and effective relief for an irritating cough and sore throat. Unlike many cough syrups, it’s suitable for children from 2+ giving parents an option to help relieve their little one’s symptoms.
The formula is based on the soothing powers of natural honey. The honey helps coat the throat and reduce irritation, thereby reducing the ‘cough reflex’. It also includes eucalyptus and Irish moss, which give a tingling, warming effect and is balanced with lemon, which is traditionally used for relief of sore throats. Best of all, your little koala bears will love the yummy honey-flavoured taste!

Contains no artificial sugars, colours, flavours or preservatives and is alcohol-free. Euky Bear is 100 per cent Australian made & owned, helping keep Aussie families healthy for over 27 years. Visit www.fgb.com.au for more info.

Always read the label and use only as directed. If symptoms persist, see your healthcare professional.