Important lessons I learnt as a guest I won’t be repeating.
As one of the last in my friendship group to be married, I feel I have an advantage now that I am planning my own wedding. After being a guest at countless weddings, it means that I can learn from their mistakes. Their many mistakes.
Okay, maybe ‘mistake’ is the wrong word but being a guest at so many weddings has definitely given me strong ideas about what I DON’T want at my wedding.
I’ve already seen how much drama weddings create, how guests lists can be the end of friendships and I refuse to let my wedding be the same.
Before you read my tips have a look at what these women on Weekend Express are advising on wedding etiquette.
Here are the top nine things I’ve learnt from weddings I’ve attended in the past:
1. The wedding is about a marriage not constant parties.
I’ve been to so many of them but I still do not understand the constant parties in lead up to, during, and after a wedding.
Hens, Bucks, kitchen tea, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, the actual reception plus a post wedding breakfast. That’s A LOT of parties to celebrate one wedding. I get it’s tradition and all but it used to be tradition to give dowry, so maybe we can ditch the unnecessary parties and actually celebrate just the wedding instead.
2. Weddings do not need to cost a fortune.
Some of the best weddings I’ve been to have been the cheapest. There’s less shiny things distracting everyone’s attention and people actually realise they are there to witness the couple begin their marriage, not eat fancy food while discussing the evening’s decor.
3. Food does not have to be unpronounceable to be nice.
Speaking of food, it seems everyone wants to up the ante in the fancy stakes when it comes to wedding food.
My one rule is, if I haven't eaten that food, by choice, at some point before the wedding it's off the menu. Also, I have to be able to pronounce it first go. Fancy schmancy, nope, give me something we'll all want to tuck into.
4. The weather won't ruin your day.
Dear every bride on every Facebook bridal group ever, yes there is a chance it will rain on your wedding day. It's called 'the weather' you may have heard of it before.
If you're gone for an outside ceremony or reception, maybe have a back up in case of such an event. Beside, THE best wedding I ever went to was for close friends who absolutely took it in their element. We spent the night in the marquee and it was lovely and so beautiful and intimate. And their photos were super cute too. I loved that wedding.
5. Make your wedding affordable for guests.
This depends on locations, dates, travel and a whole lot of other stuff but if you know your friends can't afford a holiday then don't expect them to drop everything and attend your destination wedding.
Also, if you've asked someone to be a bridesmaid/groomsmen you need to outline, from the very first day, what expectations are and how much you expect them to pay for and if they say no due to costs, don't be hurt. Some people can't afford a $400 dress and $100 shoes. It's not them being rude, they're just being realistic.
6. My wedding music won't be a Notting Hill sound track.
Ronan Keating has had his day in the spot light peeps. And it was a good, very long, very drawn out day.
Let's leave his success where it is meant to stay; in the 90s. I'm not saying Miley Cyrus is the way to go, but just think carefully before making musical decisions for the big day.
7. You don't have to have a wishing well.
Okay, maybe it's because we've lived together for eight years and I'd kinda be excited by four awesome toasters, but I personally won't be having a wishing well. Sure cash is nice but I'm getting older and getting some nice glasses and 1,000 thread count sheets would actually make me happy.
8. I will not steal every idea from Pinterest.
This should probably be my life motto actually. Apparently, weddings occurred before Pinterest was made, and they were, from all accounts, just as nice and pretty and fun as Pinterest weddings look. I've really got to start branching out on where I am sourcing my ideas from.
9. Don't be a bridezilla and lose sight of the real reason you're having a wedding.
Yes, Bridezilla's absolutely exist. Pre-engagement they are your regular, calm and sociable friends. Post bling on their finger, they turn into Ursula from The Little Mermaid. I never want to lose sight of why I'm having a wedding in the first place - to marry the man I love.
I will never let rustic bunting and colour schemes get in the way of that.
So far, I think I'm succeeding at this.
What lessons have you learnt from weddings you've been to?
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