In most cases, the benefits of receiving an invitation to a destination wedding far outweigh the costs.
There is the excitement of travelling somewhere new. The perfect excuse to do so. And there’s the joy of celebrating with friends in a rare moment of isolation.
But for one woman who posted to the forum Mumsnet, the invitation she’s received to a destination wedding is, quite simply, asking too much.
“My partner and I are invited to a wedding abroad in June,” she wrote, Be reports (the Mumsnet thread has been taken down). “My other half is an usher – unexpectedly I might add – he is one of eight others!”
The problem being, the wedding venue is in the “middle of nowhere” so the pair will have to take leave from work and book accommodation to attend.
As well as this, the woman’s boyfriend is expected to contribute to the bachelor’s party, which involves another trip away.
“I thought the norm was for everyone (including the groom) to pay for themselves [to attend the bachelor’s party],” she said.
The cost of attendance will be around $2,800 the woman explained. And, even after the pre-wedding celebrations and the wedding itself, the damage still isn’t done.
“The cheapest items on their registry are in excess of $180,” the Mumsnet user wrote. “Am I being overly sensitive?”
LISTEN: Are singles lists at wedding a good idea? We discuss, on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
A similar story came out of the UK in June last year, when a woman was invited to a ‘wedding week‘ in the US.
“We have been ‘invited’ to a wedding WEEK in the USA, prices starting from £3k (AUD$5100),” she shared to the same forum Mumsnet.
She said the numerous events organised for the week – each with their own dress code – added to the expense, and estimated she would have to spend almost $10,000 to attend.
In Australia, we’re not so willing to pay exorbitant amounts to keep our name on the guest list.
A survey by ING Direct in 2016 found Australians pay, on average, $694 to attend a wedding (which is still crazy) however we’re likely cop out if the cost ventures too much higher than $1,000.
There’s a lesson here, brides and grooms: No matter how special your ‘big day’, it’s time to stop asking so much of wedding guests.
Sure, we’re here for you, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of everything else…
Top Comments
I knew a couple that had a destination wedding in New Zealand (took my Mum and we made a week long holiday and travelled around), nothing was cheaper than $150 on their wedding register (they had been living together for nearly 3 years, so what could you possibly need?) and then when they were expecting their first child they registered again (again nothing under $100). I sent a lovely card congratulating them.
I have also had a friend that has been engaged 4 times and each time has had an engagement party, two hens nights, one bridal shower and one wedding. After the second engagement, I did not buy anything until the wedding.
I had a destination wedding, I didn't expect anyone (except my Mum and Dad) to come. I have a dear friend who attended and seems to resent the hell out of me for her attendance even though I offered to pay for flights and paid for all of her accommodation. Go if you can afford to and want to, don't go if you can't afford to. I didn't resent for a second those who chose not to come. It's a lot of money. I also insisted on no gifts because people already had to fork out so much to get there. People who choose a destination wedding must realise that it means that some people won't or can't come - and they chose a destination wedding anyway. They did what they wanted to do as a couple. You do what's right for you.