For decades, the MTV Video Music Awards were the most exciting event on the celebrity calendar.
Because, well, mess.
The VMAs and mess were synonymous, ever since Madonna scandalised 1980s society by rolling around on the floor in a wedding dress while singing 'Like a Virgin' at the first ever ceremony in 1984.
Since then, the VMAs have delivered some of pop culture's most infamous moments. There was Britney Spears and the snake, Britney and Madonna's kiss (and Justin Timberlake's reaction), Kanye West and Taylor Swift, Beyonce's pregnancy announcement, Lady Gaga in a goddamn meat dress, Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke assaulting our eyeballs, and perhaps my personal favourite, Nicki Minaj's "Miley, what's good?" callout.
We now exclusively watch MTV for Catfish, and this once-a-year, semi-relevant awards show where no one actually cares about the awards.
The days of naturally occurring mayhem are... mostly gone. But you can't deny MTV still tries - really, really hard - to give us something to talk about! Even if it's with a dumb hologram!
The event began with a red carpet, where for a very long time - after a quick cameo from Lizzo - Nev from Catfish was the most photographed arrival.
THEN TAYLOR SWIFT ARRIVED AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED.
From then on, I had to compartmentalise myself into Swiftie and... person who must continue to do actual work. I can't guarantee that I did it successfully.
This year's event was co-hosted by Jack Harlow, LL Cool J and Nicki Minaj, and featured performances from Lizzo, Blackpink, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and more.
Here are the biggest moments from the 2022 VMAs:
"Fashion" you'd only see on this wacky red carpet.
The whole point of the VMAs are to get people talking. And one way to do that is to... wear something really weird. Something you would never wear to a more ~prestigious~ awards show.
Something like... this:
And a special moment for Lil Nas X, who ALWAYS slays.
It's giving Iman, and it is instantly iconic:
Addison Rae's mom and Yung Gravy... debuted a relationship.
If you have no idea what any of those words mean, I promise you're not alone.
Firstly, Addison Rae is a very famous TikToker. Her mother, Sheri Easterling, is... her mother? Recently, Addison's parents' relationship had been a topic of conversation after her dad Monty Lopez was accused of having an affair.
Yung Gravy is a... not very famous rapper, although you may have heard his viral hit 'Betty (Get Money)' which samples Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.
"We met online and we connected right away," Gravy, 26, told MTV's Nessa Diab on the red carpet. "I'm into MILFs and she’s kind of the queen of MILFs, so I figured it was just the perfect match."
...Anyyyyway.
A surprise performance from Fergie.
Jack Harlow opened the show with a performance of 'First Class', which of course samples Fergie's 'Glamourous', and Fergie was a surprise guest to perform that song with him.
And look... I didn't know we needed a surprise Fergie appearance in the year 2022, but I'm glad it happened.
LIZZO!!!!
After Fergie went back to ignoring the Black Eyed Peas, Lizzo arrived to give us the performance of our goddamn lives.
AM I READYYYYYY?
For Lizzo, always.
She also won the Video for Good award, celebrating music videos that have a social message.
"BIIIIIITCH," she began.
She used her time at the mic to thank her fans for their support and THEN SHE THREW IT BACK TO NICKI MINAJ'S INCREDIBLE 'MILEY WHAT'S GOOD?' CALL OUT FROM 2015.
"And now, to the b*tches who've got something to say about me in the press," she said, a reference to Nicki's infamous live call out of Miley Cyrus.
It was a response to controversy that arose over the weekend following comments made by comedian Aries Spears about Lizzo's weight.
"They ask me 'why don't you clap back?'" she said. "Cause b*tch, I'm winning!"
A giant twerking butt.
Colombian superstar J Balvin was joined onstage by Ryan Castro to perform their collaboration 'Nivel De Perreo'.
Although, no shade, the most notable person on stage was the GIANT twerking hologram.
Why? This is the VMAs, so the better question is... why not?
The return of the 'Taylor Swift dancing at award shows' genre.
A staple of the early 2010s awards circuit, and I'd missed it.
A Johnny Depp hologram.
Was there anything LESS necessary than a Johnny Depp hologram making a joke about him being available for work?
'Depp' appeared towards the beginning of the show as a Moonman floating above the crowd.
"Hey, you know what? I needed the work," 'Depp' said before a narrator announced co-emcee LL Cool J to the stage.
There were rumours of a Depp appearance in the week before the show, with fans touting it as his 'big comeback'. Turns out, the 'comeback' is tiny. But stil... ick.
This isn't surprising in the slightest given how much this award's show leans on controversy, but it feels extremely unnecessary and contrived.
No, thank you!
Eminem and Snoop Dogg performed... in the metaverse.
This was how Eminem and Snoop appeared on stage to begin their performance:
Hilarious. Perfectly on brand. Love it.
But then... they morphed into avatar versions of themselves.
And then into those NFT monkeys.
STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE METAVERSE HAPPEN.
Thankfully, they then performed as... real life people, which was great, but their giant NFT monkey selves were still hovering as giants over the stage and it was, frankly, terrifying.
Nicki Minaj receives the Video Vanguard Award.
The Video Vanguard Award is essentially the VMAs lifetime achievement award, and this year's recipient was Nicki Minaj.
To celebrate, she performed a medley of her hits, from her verse in Kanye's 'Monster', one of the greatest rap verses of all time, to the absolute banger that is 'Super Bass' to her latest number one 'Super Freaky Girl'.
Nicki was then presented her award by the Barbs - her very, very passionate fanbase - which was super sweet.
She started her speech by saying she'd written some notes for a speech on her phone for the first time, but that she didn't have her phone with her post-performance.
Thankfully, after a minute, her phone was brought up to her and she could thank everyone she wanted to.
The list was long, and included Lil Wayne, Lauryn Hill, Jay Z, Kanye West, Beyonce, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Eminem, Britney Spears and Rihanna.
"I wish that Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson were here," she added.
"I wish that people understood what they meant and what they were going through. I wish people took mental health seriously, even for the people who you think have the perfect lives."
Later, she returned to stage to accept Best Hip-Hop Video and thanked even more people, including Wil.I.Am, Taylor Swift, Nas and Elton John.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers dedicate their Global Icon award to Taylor Hawkins.
The RHCP's were honoured as this year's Global Icons, and performed a medley of hits.
When accepting the award, the band's drummer Chad Smith honoured Taylor Hawkins, the late drummer of the Foo Fighters who died earlier this year. The Foos were also named as last year's Global Icons.
Chad's drum kit during the performance also had a dedication to Taylor.
Måneskin's performance was 'censored'.
The Italian glam rock band performed their new song 'Supermodel', with singer Damiano David appearing shirtless with black chaps and a jockstrap.
So... his arse was out.
Bassest Victoria De Angelis also wore a pasty over one nipple.
Considering the giant, twerking AI earlier in the show it didn't seem like a big deal. But MTV only showed about two seconds before panning away and spent a huge chunk of the performance showing the crowd rather than the band.
Fans were p*ssed.
Taylor announces her new album while accepting Video of the Year.
I know I said we don't really care who wins the awards at the VMAs, it's more about the drama, but look... this is the big one.
Taylor won for 'All Too Well', which, look, I won't pretend I'm not super happy about.
She began her speech by saying how incredible it was to have four female directors in the big category, for the first time ever.
BUT STOP THE DAMN PRESS BECAUSE SHE ANNOUNCED HER NEW ALBUM IS COMING OUT OCTOBER 21.
I KNEW THERE WAS AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE FOR HER BEING THERE.
Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.
I'm trying to think of a succinct way to end this roundup but I can't. I'm panicked. Long live this truly chaotic awards show!
Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.
Feature image: MTV.
Top Comments