Christine Anu on celebrating Valentine's Day the year after her divorce.

Valentine’s Day. That one day a year that is all about love. Some are eagerly awaiting a surprise romantic dinner, or flowers and chocolates. Others are planning to curl up on the couch, angst-ridden, eating ice cream from the tub while watching Bridget Jones in the dark.

After the heartbreak of divorce last year, I was firmly in the ‘Bridget Jones’ camp. As much as I wished I could be one of those people who dismisses Valentine’s Day as the trivial commercialisation of love, I’ve always kinda liked it. I have a busy schedule as did my partner so having a day that had momentum behind it to remind us to take time out together was great. But when I realised that we are only two from this previously happy day, I was weighed down by one thought – does the celebration of love stop now that I’m single?

It seems ridiculous that we only celebrate love when we love someone else. I was lamenting the death of romance in my life when I was reminded of an Oscar Wilde quote a friend showed me the last time I found myself single – to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. This idea of self-love is something I wanted to embrace but how?

I thought about it for days, and I think I’ve got it – the best way to love myself is to be myself, intentionally and unapologetically. I realised that I don’t take nearly enough time to acknowledge the role I’ve played in my own life. I haven’t stumbled through 47 years into a series of accidents. I have intentionally sought out different experiences, set different goals, and I have kicked some serious arse. I want to celebrate that.

I have also held myself back though. I have let fear keep me from trying new things, both personally and professionally. I have worried that people won’t like what I have to say or that it could affect my work. I have worried I could be humiliated. I forgot that as long as I am myself, I will always be able to back myself 100 percent.

None of this comes easy to me, taking time to woo myself on Valentine’s Day but the more I thought about it the more I saw how important it is. As a mum I am so used to committing myself to the care and needs of others that when it came to looking after my own needs, I had to think about how to do it. Now that I am single and the kids are getting older, I have more free time so what better time to get back to being myself?

So what will this years Valentine’s Day look like for me? Will I be taking myself out to a romantic dinner-for-one, or flicking through photos of the amazing things I’ve done in my life, or a candlelit bath? Well, like a magician, a true romantic never reveals their secrets. But for me, Valentine’s Day will be dedicated to self-love (no not that kind!).