real life

Mamamia's world-famous Valentine's Day drinking game. The only companion you need.

We have been playing this drinking game for a couple of years now and due to it’s overwhelming success (thanks to our fellow wine-os) we’re dusting it off again.

Clear your calendar, pick your poison (most of us are partial to a spot of champagne, although some are advocating FIERCELY for tequila) and play along. 

It works whether you’re happily single, taken, unsure, unhappily taken, currently surrounded by 17 cats – WE DO NOT DISCRIMINATE WITH OUR ANTI-VALENTINES DAY SMUG-ERY.

We just want you ALL to get merrily tipsy.

DISCLAIMER: Although Mamamia does not purport to be a credible provider of advice when it comes to drinking, we very much encourage you to drink responsibly (unless your chosen beverage is green tea in which case, knock yourself out).

No seriously. Will you? I still haven’t got one.

1. Drink if Channel 7 is playing one or more of the following movies tonight: Notting HillWhen Harry Met SallySleepless in Seattle or The Notebook.

2. Drink if you watch any of these four movies alone. (Disclaimer: Don’t. Just don’t).

3. Drink whenever you feel yourself wanting to justify your lack of roses and balloons by complaining that “Valentine’s Day is just a meaningless Hallmark excuse for a holiday that is just commercial exploitation”.

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4. Drink whenever someone uploads a bouquet of flowers to Instagram. And it makes you want to vom.

5. Double drink if the person in question takes a photo and uploads it to Facebook/Twitter, too. Triple drink if they upload it to all three (Grrr).

6. If someone wriggles their eyebrows at you and asks “so… any special plans for tonight?” Drink.

7. Drink whenever you feel the temptation to listen to one of the following songs: Adele’s Someone Like You, Celine Dion’s All By Myself, Sinead O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2 U.

Actually just avoid all Adele songs. No winners there.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Haha. Haha. Ha. Go away.

8. Drink if you’re recently single and you find yourself wandering onto your ex’s Facebook page… just to see if, you know, they’re up to anything special… Then STOP AND DELETE THEM AS A FRIEND YOU IDIOT.

9. Drink if you’re disappointed with what your partner gets you. Double drink if he/she gets you nothing.

10. Skull everything you can find if anyone invites you to do something tonight because “Oh I just assumed you wouldn’t have plans and might need cheering up.”

Editor’s note: Please take this post in the spirit (or should that be with the spirits) it was intended, which is to have a little fun. Alcoholism is of course a very serious issue for some Australians and Mamamia definitely doesn’t mean for our readers to actually play the game in keeping with all ten rules – that could be, really, very dangerous. Happy Valentines Day!

Want to add to the drinking game? Leave a comment below…