By NICKY CHAMP
“Your life is over when you have kids!”
It’s a popular catch phrase often trumped out after announcing one’s pregnancy (there’s nothing like a happy congratulations) but as it turns out there’s an unexpected upside to starting a family.
A new study has revealed that having a baby actually improves your social life.
The UK survey of 2000 mothers conducted by Natures Purest, a natural baby products company, found that women make an average of nine new friends upon the birth of their first baby.
According to the research, childless women have an average of 13 friends (I guess when you cancel out a large number of your social media ‘friends’ that list really dwindles down) and that number increases to 22 by the time their offspring turns one.
The increase in friendship – unsurprisingly – is due to the popularity of community led mothers groups.
“Nearly half of new mums made friends with other women at a mother and toddler group, while 22 per cent struck up friendships in antenatal classes and a fifth met people through other friends,” Mail Online reports.
More than 50 per cent of the mothers polled said they found it easier to bond with other women once becoming a mother with 70 per cent of those revealing it was because they had so much ‘in common’.
And there’s nothing like regaling gory labour details and swapping birth stories to really cement a friendship. More than 70 per cent of the respondents reported they would happily share their birth experiences with their new friends. And nearly 40 per cent said they divulged details about their post-baby sex lives with their new friends.
Other popular topics of conversation were ‘mother guilt,’ returning to work after maternity leave, depression and the in-and-outs of being a new mother; nappies, breastfeeding and the big one – sleepless nights.
One in three of the mothers polled said they were concerned about boring their old friends by constantly talking about their new babies.
A spokeswoman for Nature’s Purest said this was partly the reason why new friendships are formed so quickly – and once the bond is formed they keep the same group throughout their lives.
Do you have more or less friends now that you’re a mother? If you had one, do you still keep in contact with your mothers group?
Top Comments
I find that it goes in cycles. In the beginning I hung out with my mother's group a lot. Then most of the ladies went back to work when their kids turned 1. I found myself starting to get lonely at this stage so decided to do something about it. I started going to a few different play groups and to rhyme time at the library.
I'm also the weird person who starts random conversations in the park or at play group. I do get rebuffed sometimes but have made some good contacts this way. I figure it's better to try this than to be bored at the park. You can tell almost straight away if someone is keen to talk. At the end of the conversation I make sure I give my name and tell them it was nice to meet them.
Sometimes you just have to be brave and start a conversation with someone. People might seem aloof but they probably aren't sure either.
I quite like the women in my mother's group, but we only meet at our allocated time once a week, I wouldn't call them 'friends' yet. Our kids are only 4-5 months old though, so maybe it will come.
I find it hard spending time with my pre baby friends at the moment - I don't really have anything to talk about other than motherhood! Hopefully it will be a bit easier once I go back to work.