It's not the best time to be a guy named Travis.

I don't think I've ever met anyone called Travis.

According to rogue data I found on a less-than-reputable naming site, 100 Australian babies were named Travis in the year 1990. A quick, also less-than-reputable survey of my colleagues in the Mamamia office reveals that none of us have met any of them.

Travis' seem to either not exist in the real world or keep a very low profile. Or maybe they're all just American.

Nameberry, a more reputable authority on all things... names, I think, lists Travis as most popular in the United States, and considers it to have a vibe similar to other 'football player in a high school coming-of-age movie' monikers, such as Dustin, Jason and Troy. 

That just feels right.

And right now, Travis' are pop culture's... well, not-quite main characters. They're crucial to the plot, but not the true protagonists. The Travis' are the most important supporting characters.

And it must be a lot for them.

First, we have Mr Kourtney Kardashian. Travis Barker and his PDA have been important pop culture characters for a couple of years now, as all Kardashian-Jenner spouses become.

He and Kourtney have given us a lot of truly wild red carpet moments, Instagram carousels and uh, tongue footage, since they hard launched their relationship in early 2021. Most recently, his wedding was the catalyst for one of the biggest, most dramatic Kardashian storylines in a while: the (120th documented) Kourt v. Kim feud.

The drama between the sisters has been going on for a while now, and essentially boils down to the fact that Kim did a collaboration with Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana only six months after the brand hosted Kourtney and Travis' wedding.

Kourtney accused Kim of stealing her ideas, and more recently claimed that Kim was unhappy at her fancy Italian wedding and spent the whole day complaining.

Look. I never promised these would be relatable tales.

Listen to The Spill recap the wildest stories about Travis Kelce dating Taylor Swift. 

Now all the gossipers online can talk about is how Travis maybe-sorta-definitely liked Kim Kardashian — the definite main character — first. In his 2015 memoir, Travis wrote about hanging out with Kim in the mid-late 2000s and thinking she's hot, which has everyone in a tizzy speculating about whether that's the real reason Kourtney is so mad.

Then there's Travis Kelce, a very tall, moustached football tight-end (yes, that IS the actual name of the position). He's become pop culture's MOST visible supporting character in the space of just a few weeks, on account of Taylor Swift — the main character, duh — attending his football matches two days in a row.

"Shout out to Taylor for pulling up," he said on his podcast. "That was pretty ballsy."

So far, ol' Trav has been leaning into the fun, talking about the increase in paparazzi at his house and other super fun quirks of the "roller coaster of life". His every move, from exiting Swift's New York apartment to his supposedly eagle-eyed eyesight that allows him to see a blonde woman in a suite on the other side of a stadium, has gone viral.

Next comes a Travis who is — gasp! — actually not a real Travis. Travis Scott's real name is Jacques Bermon Webster II, which is honestly a lot cooler than Travis. But what do I know?

This Travis has been in the news for a few different things, ranging from officially re-naming his second child with Kylie Jenner to writing a song that disses her new love Timothée Chalamet.

"Got the Willy Wonka factory / Burn an athlete like its calories, find another flame hot as me, bitch," he raps in 'Sicko Mode', which is almost certainly a reference to Timmy's upcoming film Wonka.

Never has Hollywood felt so saturated by a name (besides Chris or maybe John), and I for one hope those 100 alleged Australians named Travis feel seen by this representation.

Speaking of Chris - how long until this sparks a 'favourite Travis' debate? And who will get the Chris Pratt 'Worst Chris' treatment? 

Firstly, we need a fourth gossip-worthy Travis. And since none of us know any personally, there's only one man we can rely on.

Your move, Travis Fimmel.

Feature image: Getty.