TRIGGER WARNING: This article deals with an account of rape/sexual assault and may be triggering for survivors of abuse.
When the Delhi metro pulled into the station on my first morning in India and it became apparent that it was not only shoulder-to-shoulder crowded, but with mostly men, dread washed over my body. I was trying to stay cool – of course news travels quickly overseas about brutal crimes and hatred against women in India, but these things happen everywhere, right?
But, thrown into daily life on the streets of Delhi, I couldn’t help but be reduced from a confident traveler to a blonde girl in a sea of potential predators, a stereotype that I must constantly keep in mind in the name of staying safe.
The stares are relentless – some obviously from curiosity, some more sinister. Whether I’m on a train, walking down a street or even eating in a restaurant. I’ve covered my head since day two in India, but you can’t cover a pale face and blonde eyebrows. (It doesn’t help that I’m currently beach-blonde after two months in Southeast Asia.)
I hear the voices of my parents in my head repeatedly, telling me to come home. That attitudes in India are different and it’s not a safe place for a traveling woman. That was all before the latest news of the rape and murder of two teenage girls in Uttar Pradesh, the state I was currently in, emerged on the global scene.
The two girls were around 14 and 15, innocent except for their gender and birth into a country, especially a state, where crime towards women is common, often tolerated and even met with inaction. These two girls made the news, but what about the other women that were attacked or gang-raped in Uttar Pradesh in the last week? That happened too.
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I travelled in Uttra Pradesh 20 years ago with a girlfriend. I'm so relieved that we began our Asian journey there, as it prepared us in the best way for the 'easier' countries that we visited after India. We took a train from Delhi to Varanasi, and apart from several marriage proposals that were borderline uncomfortable, getting off the train was the most scary experience of my life. I had hands and fingers in every single orifice of my body. I was wearing my backpack and was able to use it as a weapon by swinging it around. I feel so blessed that nothing more happened on that trip.
Yes I would and I did. I tried to respect local customs and wore modest clothing and a head scarf. The head scarf was for two reasons, firstly as a protection against the sun and also because every women wears a scarf in India. No one wears a sun hat. I loved India, loved the people, loved the food and especially loved the elephants. Go, it's a wonderful country. I used the women's only carriage on the metro in Delhi which I thought was a great idea. My husband moved through to the next carriage.