As anchor of A Current Affair, Tracy Grimshaw is used to introducing stories and conducting interviews, but tonight she changed tack. Staring straight down the lens, the veteran journalist delivered an impassioned editorial pleading for action to curb Australia’s most shameful epidemic: domestic violence.
Grimshaw’s heartfelt piece-to-camera was part of special edition of the programme that included the stories of Tara Costigan and Fiona Warzywoda, two women tragically killed by the men they loved, men with whom they shared children – in Tara’s case, a one-week-old baby.
“It’s so important that we talk about domestic violence and, as a society, demand more action and more resources,” said Grimshaw after the segments were aired, “because the death toll in this country is terrifying.”
That toll, Grimshaw noted, equates to one woman dying at the hands of her partner every week, meanwhile countless more are left living in fear every day.
“Perhaps they’re sitting on the couch watching this with the father of their kids, minding their every word and every move in case he loses his temper and lashes out again,” she said.
“Imagine spending every day with your heart in your mouth, not knowing if you’re going to get through tonight, or if you’re going to be beaten black and blue while the kids are cowering in their bedrooms.”
For these women, Grimshaw continued, the answer is not as simple as walking out the door, as that act is often what places them at the greatest risk of being attacked.
Instead: “They need to have a safe place to go; refuges are underfunded. They need counselling to help them understand that it’s not going to get better, that sadly he is not going to change. They need to know that if they take out a domestic violence order against him that is has some teeth; that if he breaches it he won’t get a slap on the wrist and be free to come after them again, this time with a knife or an axe.”
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This story has really touched me. As the eldest daughter of an upper-middle family, who never experienced any violence, or even raised voices in my very happy family home, I didn't even know that DV existed. Both my violent husband and I had university degrees and professional jobs. There were no signs of violence before the marriage. But then the violence started. Sadly, I didn't ask anyone for help, because I couldn't believe this was happening to me. For some reason I felt ashamed...... that I had married someone like this.
The one person I confided in was my brother. He made up an excuse, that due to work stuff, he would need to live with us for a few months. He would call me at work every afternoon at about 5pm to see what time I'd be home, because he never wanted me to be in the home on my own with the DV guy.
Then........I'd just had surgery and was home recuperating and DV guy came home early (before my brother). He was crazy and asked why I hadn't prepared dinner. I explained it was because I was in so much pain from the op. He threw me across the room and as I smashed into the wall, the new stiches in my stomach burst open and I was bleeding badly. I was lying on the floor begging him to take me to hospital.
Then my brother arrived home. He picked up the DV guy by the throat and lifted him off the floor and screamed "if you ever hurt my sister again I'll kill you! Pack you stuff and get out of this home now!" DV guy left. Brother took me to emergency to be stitched up again.
We called the police but they did nothing.
Interestingly though DV guy beat up his boss at a work function a week later and was taken away in a straight jacket.
His sister told me he had been admitted to a mental health hospital for treatment. I've never seen him since that awful night.
But interesting isn't it, that when the wife complains nothing is done, but when crazy DV guy attacks a superior at a work function, the full force of the law comes into play.
Thanks for sharing your story. That is horrific and I'm so glad you are now safe. What a beautiful beautiful man your brother is protecting you like that. That's a very good point you make about your situation vs the work situation. Unbelievable really isn't it.