"I’m too old for this sh*t."

I’m currently sitting on the express train to 40 and I’m totally fine with that.  Just lately though, there’s been times where I’ve thought to myself “I’m too old for this shit”.

You know, those certain situations you still find yourself experiencing even though you were sure you’d be able to leave them behind when you became a proper adult?

For instance –

1. Pimples

You know what? I’ve done my time. I’ve already been the awkward teen with a face full of hideous hormone induced pimples. And let me tell you kids, there was no ‘Pro-Active’ to save me back in 1991.

So why then now, in my late thirties, do I still have Mt. Vesuvius erupting on my chin every month without warning? And you know what, in hindsight, those adolescent pimples were nothing compared to these bad boys. They come out of nowhere, hurt like a bastard, are pointed out by every person you come into contact with and leave behind an everlasting and obvious scar.

We all know that person, that “friend” we wish we could break up with. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised that I need to remove these people from my life. Usually it’s been an easy, slide out of contact kind of breakup but not always. When you’re younger, you put up with a lot from a friend. The ridiculous demands, the moods, the jealousy and the terrible way that they make you feel because they are your friend and you, at the time, know no better. As you grow though and you meet other people, you realise what good friends can be like, and that there is no excuse for their behaviour. Life is too short to spend it with people who bring you down.

3. Hangovers

Hangovers no longer consist of an early run to Maccas and sleeping in until 12 o’clock. Those bastards last for DAYS when you hit your 30s. You may as well just write off the entire weekend if you plan on having a big one on Friday. Then a light bulb goes off in your head and you realise that wasting a day, or a weekend and feeling like shit because of alcohol is just incredibly stupid and a terrible waste of your precious time.

4. Periods

There you are, bidding a potential client goodbye and all of a sudden you feel something very weird happen ‘down there’. Oh Jesus, you think, am I wetting my PANTS? That’s when you realise that you’ve forgotten what day of the month it is, AGAIN. Or else you do remember but you are still faced with crippling period pain and headaches for 3 days of every month. Why is this still happening to us as fully grown adults? We’ve done our time checking for blood on the back of our dresses and playing out the Hunger Games in our uterus’, enough already.

5. Uncomfortable footwear for the sake of vanity. 

I’m fairly done with high heels these days. Mind you, this is coming from someone who once thought that there was no beautiful shiny heel that was too high or one I wasn’t willing to risk long term foot damage for. Now, ain’t nobody got time for that. I LOVE my flats. I love my thongs. I love not having blisters the size of saucepans on my heels from wearing in new shoes in.

6. Bra episodes

Look my first year or so of wearing bras was just hideous and embarrassing. I had no guidance and just didn’t really ever get the hang of them.  I figured I’d find the confidence that comes with all things brassieres, as I grew older. Wrong. I’m the person you see who has left two of the clips undone at the back or is wearing the black bra under the white t-shirt or whose bra suddenly undoes itself in public. I live in hope that I’ll stop being a mess and get my shit sorted in this department but it’s not looking promising.

7. Caring about celebrities

Oh god, there was a time in my life where I was across every single celebrity in every single magazine on the shelf. I could tell you which movie or TV show they’d ever been in and who they were dating or not dating and how big of a shithead their last boyfriend had been. Yet now, now I just don’t CARE. Last week I opened a friend’s NW and I had no effing idea who most of the people were in it.

I’m not saying I’ve totally given up hot shoes or drinking or keeping tabs on Channing Tatum, I’m just saying, my priorities are shifting and things like that just no longer rate as highly. Although I’m not quite a Nanna just yet, the thought of staying at home on Friday night with my ginormous pimple rocking out on my forehead, under a blanket, drinking hot chocolate and inhaling Mad Men marathons is starting to look mighty appealing.

Is there anything you’ve discovered that you’ve just become too old for?