After eight long weeks of campaigning, we have at last arrived at the eve of the election.
Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten are in their final day on the hustings. Excitement is peaking. The sausage on bread is only one sleep away.
And Australia will soon know who democracy will appoint to lead our country for the next three years (well, theoretically).
But what are Aussies actually thinking? The final polls out today show we’ve put Labor and the Liberals essentially neck-and-neck on a two party preferred basis. A hung parliament is a real possibility.
So in our time of need for some sense of certainty, we made the only logical decision we could: ask Tinder.
Now, I’d never actually used Tinder before (I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time) but creating an account for 24 hours to talk politics seems appropriate. Because #journalism.
Guys aren’t turned off by an opening line that includes the word ‘election’, right?
Surely, surely, the hook-up app will be brimming with informed Australians who have meticulously pored over party policies ahead of polling day.
And surely, while they have booty on their minds, they’d be eager to reflect on their country’s future with me.
I asked all my matches who they thought would win the election.
And I’ve gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised by many of the responses.
Watch Leigh Sales tell Bill Shorten to “wrap it up”. Basically how we feel about this election. Post continues after video….
The hardest part about this whole experiment was choosing my profile images (So. Stressful.). That is to say, the fellas made it easy for me by being quick to reply. I only had one smokebomb.
Overall, nine men had their money on the Liberals for a win, versus four tipping Labor.
Seven were all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
One believed we were in for a hung parliament.
And others… Well, we’ll get there. But let’s just say they were more interested in Tinder’s actual purpose.
So, here we have one guy who thinks the Liberals will come out on top because we’re hungry for some continuity. Fair enough.
This one is backing the Liberal party because he loves negative gearing.
This one has a crush on Richard di Natale but thinks Labor will win, hoping they will rekindle a romance with the Greens.
(Click through the images)
This Liberal backer was especially chatty, and suspects Turnbull will win purely because the alternative is unappealing.
(Click through the images)
We had this Labor voter admit he thinks the Liberals will win because the ALP haven't "offered anything substantial". Ouch.
And another guy who simply has no time for politicians, but is reluctantly tipping a return for the Turnbull Government.
Others prefer to not elaborate on why they they think the Liberal party will beat Labor. IT IS WHAT IT IS.
(Click through the images)
These Labor voters come across a mixture of confused and disinterested.
(Click through the images)
One bloke has no clue who is running nor who Shorten is, but declares himself a Greens voter.
(Click through the images)
One succinct guy reckons we are in for a hung parliament.
This fella asked for my stance on corny pick-up lines. I asked his stance on the election. It would never work.
And then we just have a whole bunch of guys who really just DGAF -- or care more about US politics and emojis.
(Click through the images)
And of course, there were the curveballs. Because this is Tinder.
My advice is don't von't vote for "Brandon" because I'm doubting this "dog" he offers is the cute and fluffy kind.
But I'm pretty stoked with this Tinder prophecy I got.
BRB, off to become PM.