real life

Tina Arena on how she "found her peace" after having three miscarriages.

 

Ten years ago, ARIA Award-winning singer and performer Tina Arena endured the first of three miscarriages after the birth of her son, Gabriel, in 2005.

She was all alone – her long-term partner, Vincent Mancini, was more than 1000km away sailing along the Italian coast – and rode the bus to and from the hospital by herself after dropping her young son off at a London daycare.

Despite having two more miscarriages, Tina and Vincent always hoped to have more children.

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But when the singer – now 49 – went into ‘early menopause’ after finishing third on Dancing With The Stars in 2013, she realised her dream would never become a reality.

LISTEN: Tina Arena speaks to Mia Freedman about her pregnancy loss on No Filter.

It’s something the beloved Italian-born singer has approached with the same grace and stoicism that has kept fans enraptured with her career since she first appeared on Australian screens in 1976.

“I lost three [children] after Gab…but I’m no different to anyone else,” she told Mia Freedman in an interview on the No Filter podcast.

“How many women lose children? All the time. Every second there is a child lost.”

Tina Arena and partner Vincent Mancini. Image via Getty.
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Tina admitted, however, there was a time she did feel "embarrassed" to speak publicly about her loss.

"I almost felt embarrassed to talk about it and selfish in a way," she said, adding that she thought it was a "First World problem".

"Like, 'You, Tina Arena, who do you think you are to talk about the loss of a child, you spoilt whatever’.

"But you know what? I'm a woman."

LISTEN: Tina Arena tells Mia Freedman on No Filter she is making her own rules.

She told Mia that women should "never be shameful or guilty" for the loss of a child, adding that a French saying kept her grounded during her three miscarriages.

"In France, they say...'Nature is well made, nature will keep what is meant to be kept and nature will eliminate what they feel needs to be eliminated'," she said.

"It is a part of nature...Maybe there is something wrong. So what are you going to do?"

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"I think we need to have a little bit more of a philosophical approach to is and understand that a little more. That's how I found my peace with it."

Upon reflection, Tina said she is thankful for the child she does have, calling him both "a work of art" and "hard work".

"I am grateful for that," she said.

"I just feel comfortable in talking about those things because I know how uncomfortable people are talking about it."