The perfect reason to stop helping with homework.

We’re all (hopefully) enjoying the school holidays. All across Australia, frazzled families are taking a two-week breather. No packed lunches to make. No mad dash to get out of the house on time. No permission slips to sign. No homework. I repeat, NO homework.

Two weeks of not logging on to Mathletics and Reading Eggs. Two weeks of not supervising word building and sight words. Two weeks of not feigning attention while your kids drone on with their readers – One. Word. At. A. Time. Two weeks of not having to help them prepare for “News” and make class projects.

Which begs the question: whose homework is it? Yours or your kids’?

Answer this question: which parenting style do you follow when it comes to your kids’ homework?

A) Homework? What homework?
B) I run an eye over it once it’s done.
C) Groan! All my childhood nightmares are back to haunt me.
D) We work it out together. Homework is teamwork.
E) I love it! Gets my brain cells working. Er, the kids’ brain cells.

When it comes to your kids’ homework, you can do the maths – but we suggest you don’t. Turns out, your attitude towards your kids’ maths homework leaves a lasting impression on your children.

According to a New York Times blog post, “Children of highly maths-anxious parents learned less maths and were more likely to develop maths anxiety themselves when their parents provided frequent help on maths homework according to a study of first- and second-graders, published in Psychology Science.”

Picture this. You’re making dinner while your daughter has logged on to her Mathletics homework. She needs to tell the time correctly. Time and again (pun intended), she keeps confusing ‘quarter to’ with ‘quarter past’.

The minutes tick on. Although you’re silent, she can sense your anxiety, which adds to her stress. You can cut the tension in the air with that knife you’re holding. She’s just about to click on the wrong answer – again – when you yell, “No, that’s not the right answer!”

Sounds familiar? You’re not alone. We jump in trying to help when, in fact, we are hindering their progress. Kids learn through mistakes. Let them make some.

It might be fine to ‘help out’ while the kids are little, but what about once they start doing trigonometry, statistics and calculus? I’m breaking into a cold sweat just thinking about long division. Imagine my state when it comes to quadratic equations...

As the study revealed, the more the maths-anxious parents tried to work with their children, the worse their children did in maths, which, in turn, increased their maths anxiety. It’s a vicious circle.

So what’s the solution? Turns out, awareness is the key. If you know you’re zero at maths, watch your words. What you say to your kids about homework influences how they will start to think about it themselves.

Don’t let your own bad experiences rub off on your children. If you’re at sixes and sevens when it comes to your kids’ maths homework, don’t attempt it. At least, not when you’re in a flap. Ask the teacher for help.

Finally, let maths be a part and parcel of everyday life. Don’t relegate it to some lofty, unattainable realm. We can do this when we “create a maths-positive environment... whenever you count your change, calculate when dinner will be ready, look at prices in a grocery store.”

As my high school maths teacher always said, “With maths, it all adds up. Practice makes perfect.”

Do you help your kids with their homework?