health

'Emily has just months to live. After I visited her, she handed me a note.'

Emily Lahey doesn't know exactly how much time she has left. All she knows is that it's not very much. 

She has a rare, aggressive cancer and at the time of her diagnosis, doctors estimated she had just six and nine months left to live. 

Very graciously, she has taken some of her precious time to meet complete strangers, including me. Why? Because she knows that sharing her life lessons right now will make a big difference. Even when she's gone.

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Almost five years ago, Emily was fit, healthy, and working as a Sergeant in the Australian Defence Force, when she began to experience sinusitis and headaches. 

When she first visited doctors with her concerns, her symptoms were dismissed as nothing serious. It wasn't until she lost vision in her left eye that they agreed to investigate further. 

"Those further tests discovered a mass in my sinus and skull bone that measured around the size of a cricket ball. It was a very big tumour for quite a small space," she tells Mamamia.

Emily was diagnosed with a NUT carcinoma — a rare, aggressive cancer that can develop anywhere in the body but is most often found in the head, neck and lungs. 

"By the time it was found, it was unfortunately inoperable."

Emily was just 27 years old.

Friends and family rallied round, as well as her very new partner Jason.

"Jason and I met just three weeks before I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So for him to not only hang around during treatment, but to be such a significant part of my life despite the elephant in the room — it's a big testament to not only his character, but also the strength of our relationship," says Emily.

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Emily Lahey with her husband Jason Gregson. She has auctioned her precious time for a cause close to her heart. Image: Supplied/ACRF.

Emily started treatment immediately but things didn't go smoothly. 

"My tumour metastasised while I was on chemo. Also chemo was just the devil, it was really awful," she says. "I then started radiotherapy and did that every day for seven weeks. I started immunotherapy as well, which was just monthly. But it wasn't effective in the long term."

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Eventually she was approved for a treatment called BET inhibitors, which is not available to everyone, but can be applied for in specific circumstances.

This treatment has extended Emily's life and she says she's "grateful" to have lived longer than the expected prognosis of six to nine months.

"Two weeks ago scans showed my condition remains stable. There aren't any treatment options left for when the BET inhibitors no longer work. So it's just seeing what happens," she says.

"It's hard to fathom, thinking about how much time I have left. You're damned if you do know, and damned if you don't."

Emily's diagnosis has understandably had a huge impact on her family. 

"They [my parents] live interstate and would travel to and from Melbourne to support me during my diagnosis and treatment. My sister is a nurse, she has been amazing, and so too has my brother. We are a very close family," she says. 

In November 2023, Emily and her partner Jason married in front of all their nearest and dearest.

"It's safe to say it was the happiest and best day of my life, as well as his," Emily tells Mamamia.

Last weekend, as part of an exhibition proposed by the Australian Cancer Research Foundation (ACRF) Emily auctioned pieces of her remaining time to strangers in Sydney as part of a living artwork, Time to Live.

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I was lucky enough to be invited. 

Walking into the warehouse space, I had no idea what to expect. There was a bench in the middle of the room, and the lights were turned off when I sat down. 

Videos of Emily began to play on screens around the room. They were of her at the happiest and saddest points of her life. Her words about living with a terminal illness and what she has learned echoed through the room. It was deeply moving.

Then, Emily walked in and sat down beside me. Together we watched the projection of a timer count down from three minutes, ticking away our moments together. 

You can watch part of the experience Emily and I shared here. Post continues below. 



Video via The Project.

For those three precious minutes I sat with Emily and we watched the timer tick away in silence. When the timer reached its end, Emily stood up and handed me a note in an envelope, and walked away. 

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When I opened it, the tears began to form.

"I've given you my time," she said. "Now it's your time to give that gift to someone else."

Her words were powerful. It immediately made me think of the people I so deeply love and the unpromised time we have left with one another. 

Reflecting on her decision to be part of this exhibition, Emily says: "I wouldn't describe myself as artistic. Doing something like this is very unusual for me, especially to be in something so big and so bold. But I want to shine a light on ACRF, and I want to make people feel and think."

That's exactly what Time to Live does — offering a unique opportunity for people to grasp the emotional and psychological weight of how finite time is, as well as raising awareness for cancer research.

"Research isn't just about science, it's really about the people. It has a ripple effect. It's meant I've had far more time than I anticipated I would when I first received my diagnosis. Without research, I wouldn't have been given the extra time."

It's an experience that will stay with me for some time to come. Image: Supplied.

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Now Emily lives by the mantra "be present".

"I think having this terminal illness has allowed me a greater perspective on the importance of time and where my time is spent. I've learned the importance of quality over quantity. I'm now prioritising things like spending time with family and friends," she says.

"I've learned to take those holidays. Light the good candle. Open that bottle of champagne you've had lying around. Have a fun weekend with your girlfriends. It's about savouring life's moments for what they are, because we just don't know when our time is up."

To hear more about the exhibition, you can visit here. Emily Lahey has requested that if you have the means to donate to the Australian Cancer Research Foundation, you can do so here

Feature Image: Supplied/ACRF.