Is Tiger Woods a sex addict? Or just a bit of a dick?

We hope you’re sitting down. Because Tiger Woods and his girlfriend have broken up. And the reason why is shocking – he cheated.

You might not like to believe everything you read in the tabloids. But you probably won’t have any problem believing this. Tiger Woods has broken up with his girlfriend of three years, Lindsey Vonn, because, according to reporters, he was caught cheating.

But don’t worry, it’s okay. You see, he wasn’t cheating because he is an unreliable heel, it was because of  “stress relief”…

I somehow feel like these words have been written before. That this conversation has taken place before.

That these excuses have been used before.

Like that time when his marriage erupted and his wife and children left him because he was caught sleeping with 121 women.

That’s right – 121 women.

Once again, we see the headlines: “Tiger Woods cheating scandal.”

It’s, once again, splashed all over the tabloids.

But this time, it’s not a scandal framed in sympathy to the cheated-on. But a scandal drenched in sympathy for the cheater.

Because the guy can’t help it.

The “facts” as reported by The Daily Mail are this: Tiger did the deed with a “nameless, faceless” woman while he was on tour.

Lindsay Vonn announced the couple had split last week due to “incredibly hectic lives that force us to spend a majority of our time apart.”

It has been reported that he was spotted out and about with this “faceless” woman and confessed all to his partner.

The Daily Mail quotes a friend who excuses the behaviour with a great big dirty justification.

He can’t help himself.

“You have to understand, while it’s not right, it’s not really wrong either.” This “source” says.

“Tiger isn’t married. He doesn’t really drink or do drugs. So what else does he have when he can’t afford to lose again? He is allowed to find some relief.”

“Most men would drink over such losses. Tiger has sex over it. Usually with local hookers whom he pays exorbitant amounts to, probably so they will want repeat business and won’t tell.”

“When Tiger realised he was seen, he became concerned and eventually he decided to confess to Lindsey. Something he didn’t do with Elin. He came clean and I give him credit for that.”

And it goes on:

“Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn’t with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can’t help himself. He’s got an addiction. He relapsed,” says the friend.”

“Knowing Tiger, he doesn’t even see it as cheating because there’s no romance or feeling there. It’s just a stress reliever, like a high-ball or two after a bad day.'”

What a crock!

Stress relief is playing tennis or going for a jog. Stress relief is eating chocolate or drinking a glass of sauv blanc. Stress relief is squeezing on those squishy balls till they  pop.

Stress relief is cuddling your kids or talking to your partner.

Its not f**king some “nameless, faceless” woman when you have a committed partner elsewhere.

Now obviously, not being a billionaire on the golf circuit or a hooker, I don’t know Tiger Woods or  Lindsay Vonn, so who knows what really went on there, but there is a temptation to take the ‘WELL DUH, of course Tiger Woods is going to cheat’ line here.

Cast your mind back, in 2009 when Tiger Woods was in the middle of his first cheating scandal and his marriage to wife, Elin Nordegren broke down, he apologised.

“My real apology to her,” he said,”Will not come in the form of words.  It will come in my behaviour over time.”

“I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. “

“I have let you down. I have let down my fans,” he said.

Remember this? (Post continues after video).

And Tiger took his place amongst the ranks of the famous “sex addicts” – David Duchovny, Jack Nicholson, Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen.

Whether or not this affliction is a legitimate excuse is irrelevant. If “sex addicts” genuinely do have a psychological problem, then seek help. If they are just over-sexed playboys then spare your children and families the pain of these public humilations and stay single.

A well-qualified psychologist, Dr. John Groholt wrote an article on the reasons why Tiger cheated the first time. After citing lots of very important sounding studies his conclusion was this:

Why Tiger Woods cheated will likely remain a mystery for some time, until he chooses to share his own personal motivations. But if he’s like most men who cheat, he likely did so because of dissatisfaction with his marriage, a difference in sex drive between him and his spouse, and perhaps greater personality differences between he and his spouse that either of them realise.

Now I am no psychologist, (and I certainly don’t have as many degrees as Dr. John Grohol does) but I think he is wrong.

I think Tiger Woods cheats because he feels entitled to. I think Tiger Woods cheats because he doesn’t respect women.

I think, basically, Tiger Woods cheats because he is a bit of a dick.

Do you think someone who repeatedly cheats can change?

For more on sportsmen behaving badly:

Sportsmen let us down over and over again. So why are they talking at my kids’ school.

“This time every year, the world is full of men I don’t want my son to grow up to be.”

He ruined her life. So should this footballer get a second chance a glory?