'I've been sober for 5 years. Here's what I'm really thinking when you're drinking.'

There you are at the bar. You're ordering a gin and tonic for you and a Heineken 0.0. for me, and yes, I am judging you. What do you think that alcohol is doing for you? Or to you?

You bring the drinks over to our table and I sip my Heineken. Honestly, to me, it tastes just like the alcoholic version, not that I did drink Heineken when I was a booze hound. I was too busy throwing wine down my throat to bother trying anything else.

You pick up your drink and take a large swig.

'I needed that,' you say.

You didn't, I don't say. You just think you do.

Almost five years ago, I called last orders on all my hangovers, my early morning wakings, my self-recrimination and self-abuse. At that time, I didn't really mean to stop forever. I didn't think I could. But I did. A 30-day alcohol-free online program turned into a never-drinking-again life.

At first, I was almost apologetic when out with wine-loving friends.

'You know the whole story of my dad's drinking. All the trouble he caused. How mum wouldn't leave him, so I ended up leaving Scotland. It's all so emotional, all psychological. I just need to stop drinking myself to feel better about all that.'

Watch: Your Body After 1 Year Without Alcohol. Post continues after video.

My father's alcoholism and aggression gave me the dubious skill of people pleasing. I did not want my not drinking to make anyone feel uncomfortable about their drinking.

Now, I really do not give a rat's if my sobriety makes anyone else feel uncomfortable. The years have shown me that the only people who ever care, question me or take offence are those who are wrestling with their own drinking.

My sobriety shines a light on their alcohol consumption, is a threat to it. And it's no longer my job to protect them.

So now, when someone asks me why I don't drink, I tell them the truth. 'Booze is a poison and I don't want it mucking up my body and brain. I don't mind ethyl alcohol mixed up with the petrol in my car, but I don't want it in this one precious body of mine.'

'Oh come on,' you might say. 'How can you relax without wine?'

'Let me lie supine and show you,' I'll reply.

It didn't take long for the scales to fall from my eyes. The great alcohol emperor is nude. I was pulled in by societal conditioning and by the incessant and egregious marketing of alcohol companies.

Listen: 'The Hangover That Made Me Get Sober'. Post continues after podcast.

Yes, most people in Australia do not drink at harmful levels, but about 30 per cent do. No, most people do not become dependent, but 5-10 per cent do. I'm in that 5-10 per cent of people for whom alcohol is no fun at all. Wine became a threat to my mental health most of all, with my physical health close behind. You're in the 30 per cent whose drinking is definitely doing damage.

So I toddle off to the bar to get my round in. A tonic water with ice and lemon for me this time and another gin and tonic for you.

My sobriety shines a light on their alcohol consumption, is a threat to it. And it's no longer my job to protect them.

You poor soul, is what I'm thinking. Your sleep is going to be disrupted by this ethyl alcohol tonight. Your poor neurotransmitters will be working overtime to counter the depressant effects of the booze. If you get another drink or two tonight, your binging will give you a multiple hangover and exacerbate the anxiety and depression you have spent all night telling me about. You won't wake up the woman you could be.'

'Would you like another drink?' you ask later.

No thanks, I tend to find people get incredibly boring after four drinks. Time for me to go.

I've done my bit for drunken havering, even as a listener.

So, this is what I'm really thinking as you're drinking. I'm all relief and no regret, still slightly startled that I managed to dislodge the talons that alcohol had so deep in me. Free.

If you lament to me about your own drinking, I'll ask if you'd like some suggestions. Only if you are sober though, there's no point wasting breath when you've been drinking already, you won't remember my pearls of wisdom.

I won't offer any opinions unasked, that's just torture for everyone. But if you ever would like a suggestion, I've got plenty. I've got almost five years of sober mornings to tell you about; sunrises, walks, swims and lounging in bed reading with a clear head.

Don't faint but there are healthy ways to chill out, to numb out even. Take a seat. Let's have a cuppa. We might be here for a while.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Going Under: A memoir of family secrets, addiction and escape by Seana Smith, published by Ventura, $32.99, out now.