So, chances are if you’re reading this it’s because you want to know what the hell is going on with Theresa May’s leather pants.
Yes, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom wears leather pants. Bad ass, right? It’s all very exciting if you ask us, but given the media storm surrounding the incident, we thought it would be a good idea to take a closer look at the situation.
Why do we care? Who started the argument? What do they represent? Where can we buy a pair?
Just like good old Bernard Salt managed to distill our Australian housing cost crisis down to a piece of avocado on toast, Nicky Morgan is using the $2,000 AUD leather pants as a symbol of Theresa May's spending habits. Flamboyant! Unnecessary! Impractical!
“I don’t have leather trousers," said Morgan, smoothing out the wrinkles of her $15.99 H&M blouse.
"I don’t think I’ve ever spent that much on anything apart from my wedding dress.”
(*Note from author: this is an actual quote. Yes, I know.)
Tight-lipped and very disapproving, Nicky Morgan went on to say that those FANCY leather pants would have no place in her town of Loughborough, particularly when up against the litmus test of 'could I wear these to the local pub?'
"My barometer is always: 'How am I going to explain this in Loughborough market?'" said Ms Morgan, adding that the pants in question had been "noticed and discussed" among the Tory party.
Goodness. Not since Lenny Kravitz's unfortunate onstage 'drop and squat' dance incident have leather pants seen such controversy.
And finally, can we spare a moment to approach Those Leather Pants from an economic perspective?
Amanda Wakeley - the designer behind the leather pants - is a player of the bountiful UK fashion industry, which employees around 555,000 every year, and contributed £28 billion to the domestic economy in 2015 alone.
Of that, womenswear sales (including Those Leather Pants) came in at £27 billion in the UK in 2015, which is predicted to grow by 23% by 2020 to £32billion.
British-owned fashion houses such as Alexander McQueen, Ted Baker, Paul Smith, Dr. Martens, and Burberry are all well-loved brands to come out of the UK and bring considerable revenue back in.
Fair to say that once the dust settles, Amanda Wakeley can be added to that list, too.
Two words - SOLD. OUT. (Image via The Sun)
Regardless: where there's smoke, there's fire. And the Twitter hotline is lighting up with disgruntled British public airing out their disapproval of Ms May's pants.
This man believes the pants are stealing food:
This woman is sure that the pants are stealing heating:
And this lady insists the pants are just a decoy:
Theresa May's trousers have joined a long list of controversial leather pants.
From Sandra Dee to Mick Jagger, everyone who's anyone has had their fair share of hotly-debated pant-wear. We say ramp it up love: go the whole hog and get a leather suit. Leather boots. Leather jacket over the top, and leather accessories. A whip. A leather mask. Show that snooty Nicky Morgan who's boss.
Now, if we're done with the show - could we get back to business? Theresa May might be fabulous, but she's also got a job to do. Ya know, digging a major world power out of their greatest social and economic crisis of modern history.
Eyes up here, Ms Morgan.