I just had the most astounding correspondence with a so called ”journalist” from a well-known Australian women’s magazine, wanting to ask me about owning the ”walk of shame”.
When I asked her exactly what she wanted me to comment on, she was unable to articulate what she wanted. She said ”it’s a cute little piece about how to leave the house after a one night stand”. I said, ”I guess you just walk out the door, the same way you arrived”. Drawing on my vast experience of having many one night stands over the years- that is what I had always done. Is it really media worthy? ”Woman walks out the door after sex” Seriously?
We were then able to establish that when men leave from a one night stand, they are high-fived and able to brag, but women ( apparently) are expected to feel ashamed. When I asked her what angle she wanted to go with regarding this, she said, “We don’t want to educate women about this — it’s just a cute little piece, ya know- how to fix your dress and manage after you’ve got smeared make up”.
My jaw was on the ground. This is 2014 – right?
The amount of times I’ve walked down the street in that state, with my pride intact is probably comparable to how long she has even been alive. I told her that everything I do is about empowering people which includes WOMEN to own their sexuality- no matter what. That I couldn’t for the life of me understand what was so hard about walking out someone’s door after a night of (boozy) sex, and if it was that much of a struggle, perhaps they need to reconsider why they are doing it in the first place.
She then went on to say, ”íf you’re not comfortable talking about this, then that is okay” to which I replied, It’s not that I am uncomfortable, its just that I think it’s bullshit!
Women – do not buy into the crap that these so called ‘women’s” mags tell you about your sexuality and how you should behave. Read books, go to workshops, talk to older women or talk to me for fuck’s sake — but PLEASE do not ever feel bad about your sexual pleasure.
I am on YOUR side.
Love Cyndi. xx
This post originally appeared on Cyndi Darnell’s Facebook page, and is republished here with full permission.
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Top Comments
Let the world change this perspective please... Lets rename it "The stride of pride"
I think it's important to note that this 'shame' doesn't necessarily stem from a man's perspective. The term is commonly coined by other women, which only adds to the self-regulating, self-perpetuating sexist stereotype. Cyndi, I can appreciate the message that you're getting at here but I think radicalising the issue by making it a man's fault that the phrase simply exists isn't the way to go about it. Instead, maybe we should consider why women judge each other rather than uplift and empower one another through phrases such as this. Don't get me wrong, the fact that the phrase exists in the first place is definitely a reiteration of female subordination and sexual inhibition, but I just think we would be simplifying the issue by not acknowledging the role women play in purporting this supposed 'shame'.
I don't think Cyndi has suggested that the shame comes from a man's perspective at all... Not sure how you got that from the article!