'Science has confirmed our unhappiest decade. Now it's changed my future plans.'

Oh. Oh, I hate it here.

Why? Well, I recently found out that, according to many studies cited by writer Sophie Brickman in The Guardian, happiness is actually 'U' shaped. This means we start high and end high (amazing news). However, we go through a big unhappiness dip in our… 40s, with 47.2 being our unhappiest year of all.

Now, I don't mean to sway the findings of this research but since learning this, I think I've single-handedly changed this 'U' shape into a 'W' as I am now very unhappy learning that my life is about to go down (emotionally speaking).

Since I'm 28-years-old and have only experienced two decades, I feel like I don't have the authoritative experience to voice my happiest or unhappiest decades (as yet). What I can speak on is that I am not enjoying my 20s as a whole.

I'm largely blaming the reasoning for this on the pandemic and although I'm fortunate enough to not be affected by any sort of misfortune as others, I believe those three years in my early-mid 20s just went… missing.

In my head, I told myself that these were the years when everything was supposed to happen for me. These were the years I was meant to meet the love of my life, where I was meant to be thriving in my career, where I was meant to travel the world, where I was meant to take up a super intricate hobby like learning the harp or baking wedding cakes. I tell myself that these three years took away my ability to become the version of myself I wish I was.

Instead of dwelling on the years that could have been, I've (toxically) told myself that everything will fall into place when I turn 36. In my head 36 is the age that everything works out for me. I'm living my best life on an anchorage with my partner and two dogs. I read books and travel and make a lot of money and host dinner parties and always look effortlessly beautiful.

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I'm not sure why the age of 36 is stuck in my head other than it feels far enough to not worry about, yet it still seems achievable if I decide to make a conscious effort to pursue this admittedly egotistical dream.

But now… everything has changed since I've read that Guardian piece because 36 is supposedly going to be the start of my downfall.

So if I'm already not enjoying my 20s, and research tells me that I'm not going to enjoy my late 30s-40s either… I will start getting happy when I'm in my… 50s? Yay, I guess?

I think another issue I have with these studies is that I so clearly remember my parents in their 40s. When they pop into my mind, that's the age I picture them as. I remember them working so so hard, leaving the house early in the morning and coming home when it was dark. I also remember going out every single weekend to the city, to Saturday sports, or to the park. I remember the long weekend beach holidays where they would call my school telling my teachers that I was sick so we could extend our trips.

I remember being privileged enough to be able to see the world with them, eat different foods and learn about other cultures.

In my head, my parents in their 40s were probably the most important years for me. Finding out that particular decade could've possibly been the worst of their life breaks my heart. It makes me wonder if they "saved" their happiness for my sister and me until they turned 50 when they could finally take a big deep breath out.

After speaking to some colleagues who have entered and left their 40s, a lot of them aren't buying into the notion that it was their unhappiest decade.

They said a reason they think a lot of people feel unhappy during this time is because your responsibilities skyrocket as you're more likely to be in the sandwich generation. You might have kids that are dependent on you and you might have parents that are also dependent on you. Time for yourself? Not so much.

This theory rings true to what my parents would've experienced in the 40s (and are probably still experiencing it now with their 28-year-old child— guilty).

I do believe that studies like these do nothing besides create panic amongst those who are yet to reach this decade as well as confuse those who are in this decade.

Happiness is subjective and depends on the person, their lifestyle, and life stage. In true Gen Z fashion… I think we should all just vibe out.

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem or sign up to the Mamamia Out Loud newsletter.

Feature image: Supplied.