The tampon v mooncup rap battle.

By MARY WARD

For decades, pads and tampons have fought it out in the battle of the women’s health products. But, now there’s a new(ish) player on the sanitary scene: welcome, the Mooncup. And that little flexible silicone dome means business.

In the long and honourable tradition of evaluating products in your pharmacy by pitting them against each other in an epic rap battle, a recent video shows the Mooncup squaring off against its rival insert-operated menstrual product, the tampon.

Freaky-freaky Fem Fresh. Watch the video below:

And here’s a quick summary for those of you who don’t want the sounds of mooncup related rap songs to enrapture the other people who work in your open plan office space…

Tampon starts off strong, with a solid dig at the Mooncup’s reputation for being a little bit ‘new age’:

“Mooncup crew get outta my face. You sound like somethin’ that came from outer space”

Oh no she didn’t. But, never fear, newcomer Mooncup comes back strong with a:

“Causing dryness, irritation; you can’t do your job properly. We’re coming to destroy your property”

Snap! Tampon never quite recovers from Mooncups fast-paced rhymes:

“You’re gross and weird and no one understands you. You get laughed at… more than clowns do.”

More than clowns do? Really, Tampon?

From then on the battle is basically Mooncup’s for the taking. Which makes sense, given that this video is an ad for (you guessed it) Mooncups.

This sort of blatant corruption says a lot about the state of the sport of feminine hygiene based rap battles. Whatever happened to a good, clean game?

We also think it was particularly rude that pads weren’t invited to the party:

My name is Pad, I’m not just a fad. I’ve helped you wag every swimming carnival you ever had.

Word.