Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 6: Nothing good starts in a getaway car.

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My first thought during episode 6 is: Where. The. F***. Are. We. Going?

That is also my final thought of episode 6, but we'll get to that.

Once again, everyone in this show has been captured. June and Luke by... well, we don't know, and Serena by the creepy Canadian Gilead-wannabes who are definitely going to try to steal her baby.

Serena's ultrasound gives her a whole bunch of unsettling news: she is requested to massage her... perineum, with ESSENTIAL OILS, take it easy to lower her high blood pressure and go out to dinner with the creepy doctor.

You know it's bad when I have even a touch of sympathy for Serena bloody Joy.

"Massage my WHAT with WHAT?" Image: SBS.

Oh what the f***. Gilead had been planning to harvest Esther's uterus until they discovered she is three weeks PREGNANT.

Aunt Lydia does her creepy caring voice to figure out what is going on. It was Fred's funeral three weeks ago, and well, we all know who tried to force-feed her chocolate that day.

Putnam raped her, Esther says. Aunt Lydia already knew that, but she feigns shock and horror that the world she helped form is actually terrible for women and girls.

Now the truth is staring at her, on the face of a 14-year-old girl she sent into a lion's den.

"That's terrible," she repeats in various tones of alarm. Yes it is, Lydia, and you should've done something about it at least five seasons ago.

Esther tells her exactly that before one of the saddest displays of rage and terror we've seen on the show.

I AM A MESS. Image: SBS.

Lydia goes straight to tell Joseph, who laughs in her face. "What crime?"

Later, Joseph and Nick share a drink with rapist Putnam, who is even more repulsive than usual. By the end of the conversation, ripe with sex jokes and Putnam telling Joseph his New Bethlehem reform plans are dead, Joseph's changed his tune and wants to take him down. Insert point about men and power, blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, in unspecified cages, Luke is FREAKING OUT. He's having some macho crisis, and quite frankly, we do not have time for this, dude!

June is cooler and calmer. She explicitly tells him not to fight the men, but after a cute moment complimenting June's butt, he does exactly that. It ends with him bloodied on the ground, hopeless, receiving a massive "never give up hope" speech from June about surviving.

Sobbing, again. Image: SBS.

In a different, much more cushy cage, Serena tests her limits by telling Mrs Wheeler that she doesn't plan to date her gyno, or any man for that matter. It goes down like a lead balloon and when Serena tries to go for a walk, Mrs Wheeler literally tells her to go to her room.

(Side note: Mrs Wheeler's first name is Alanis, which feels extremely disrespectful to the OTHER Canadian Alanis, who is not part of a baby-stealing cult but also gave us Jagged Little Pill.)

After sobbing her stupid eyes out, Serena is summoned by Mr Wheeler, who informs her June has been captured by HIS MEN. That's one mystery solved. Ezra is being sent to "deal with her properly" and Serena BEGS to go with him because she deserves to see June die.

Or she sees an out of this creepy house prison.

Somehow, it works, but Serena's labour starts in the back of the car because God knows nothing can go to plan in The Handmaid's Tale.

June and Luke are separated into different vehicles and I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY KILL OFF LUKE I WILL RIOT. HE IS THE PUREST PERSON IN THIS SERIES.

The Putnams are out for breakfast and Commander Putnam, the weasel, is taken away by a group of guards.

I'll park my fears about Luke for a moment because OH BOY PUTNAM IS ABOUT TO GET HIS ARSE HANDED TO HIM AND I AM SO EXCITED.

Joseph and Nick, TV's most confusing buddy-cop duo, inform him he's been found guilty for the rape of "unassigned property". 

Putnam is SHOOK and then Putnam is SHOT. NICK PULLS THE TRIGGER RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, IN FRONT OF THE COMMANDER AND WIVES' FANCY BRUNCH SPOT.

This is news to nobody but Gilead is f***ing WILD.

BYE BITCH! Image: SBS.

A few mini scenes play out before the main event: Nick's wife is worried about "what kind of person" killing Putnam makes him, and look, that's... all well and good, if you disregard the fact that he fought for the establishment of this "country". Then we learn she's pregnant? We need more info on these two, ASAP.

And Aunt Lydia takes her Handmaids to see Putnam's body on the wall, and Janine says she wishes she could've watched. 

Then it's showdown time.

Ezra pulls June off Mr Wheeler's prisoner bus, and her reaction to seeing Serena is gold. "Are you f***king serious?"

Yes, she is serious. Image: SBS.

Ezra is an idiot. He cuts June's bindings at Serena's command. Then he agrees to HAND SERENA THE GUN.

She demands June pray. But this is June freaking Osbourne, so she prays for their children: "May they do better than we did."

In a plot twist we could all see from Mars, Serena turns the gun on Ezra. Shooting June would mean June's dead, which she'd enjoy, but also that Serena would be shipped straight back to the Wheeler house for bed rest and baby stealing.

Instead, Serena, in goddamn labour, demands June drive the car and OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE THELMA AND LOUISE IS GOING ON.

I'm left mouth ajar, wondering the very same thing I was at the beginning.

Where. The. F***. Are. We. Going?

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 1: How to get away with murder. 
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 2: GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER. 
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 3: The wedding that wasn't.
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 4: KEEP YOUR SH*TTY STATE OUT OF CANADA.
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 5: This is why we have trust issues.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: SBS/Mamamia.