Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 5: This is why we have trust issues.

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The Canadian anti-immigration protest at the beginning of 'Fairytale' gives me a VISCERAL reaction.

God, humans suck.

Speaking of sucky humans, Serena is finding her feet in her new Gilead-lite home with the Wheelers. Blessed be the enormous breakfast, etc.

Meanwhile, our trio of June, Luke and Moira are told there is a friendly guardian attempting to cross no-man's-land to offer information about the 'Wife schools' Hannah has been attending, but Canadian border patrols have stepped up and he can't make it across.

Instead, Luke decides to go across himself. June is like... that's hot.

Luke is the best character of the season so far and I love it but I am also... terrified about what it means for this future. Image: SBS.

They plan to go together, with Lily giving them all the info they need. They ask who they're meeting to which she says "no names, names are dangerous". 

AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT FORESHADOWING.

As they hike their way through the dark, triggering woods, haunted by literal bodies hanging in the trees, Moira and Lily bond over a bottle of booze and how sh*t Detroit is.

Meanwhile, while our friends lean heavily on Rita as the only person they trust to look after Nichole (so fair!), it seems like Serena would have her pick of babysitters with Nancy Wheeler and her creepy friends.

The only issue is that I think they'd literally try to abduct her child.

At a creepy get together, they all cradle her belly as Serena has flashbacks to Gilead's beginnings when she and Naomi Putnam discuss whether they'll 'employ' a Handmaid while staring at rooms of stolen children.

This is the stuff of nightmares. Image: SBS.

Yuck! And maybe some foreshadowing I do like the sound of!

Eventually, Luke and June make it to the meeting place.

"Raspberry," a young guardian says, gun in hand. "Beret," they respond.

That's my favourite Prince song! I greatly enjoy that Prince lives on despite the destruction of society as we know it.

He leads them to an abandoned bowling alley with a real bathroom and tells them about the 'Plums'. They're the wives-in-training, essentially, and Hannah is one of them.

In mini Gilead, Serena makes a call to Joseph and Warren Putnam, who everyone definitely hates.

Gilead's information centre is out of action, but Serena's body being cradled by a dozen desperate women has given her an idea. Rather than focus on pushing Gilead's ideas, Serena suggests a 'fertility centre' to manipulate people at their most desperate.

She's evil, but she's smart!

Warren hangs up the phone, because woman, and lambasts Joseph's plan to make Gilead less insular and more politically viable. Are we here for the Putnams getting bigger roles this season? Warren is SO SLIMY, I hate him, which I guess makes him the perfect Gilead-based antagonist.

He gives me the biggest ICK of all time. Image: SBS.

Luke and June can't cross back over to Canada until sundown, which leaves them with a few hours to kill at the bowling alley.

May as well down some beer and smash some pins!

The guardian can't be any older than 18-20, and he says anything from 'before' Gilead is a bit foggy. It's super interesting insight: Hannah is only 12, so her memories of pre-Gilead would be even less.

He's working to take it down because "people should be able to talk to each other, see their families, do whatever they want". Somehow, he's avoided being corrupted by the cruelty and brutality of Gilead, and has remained, as June says, so pure.

I would say 'we must protect him at all costs', except Luke asks his name and we learn it's Jaden.

Lily said we aren't supposed to know this! And I have watched enough of this show to know that THIS MEANS HE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE.

DAMN IT.

The bowling alley also has a keyboard, which Luke takes as an opportunity to sing 'Let's Stay Together' and slow dance. If I wasn't so worried about Jaden's impending doom, I'd cry.

SWEETIE. Image: SBS.

Mr Wheeler is as weaselly as you'd expect. He's spoken to the Commanders (hey Canada, how does this man have a direct line to a hostile state?) and they've decided to go ahead with Serena's fertility centre idea.

Not that she'll have anything to do with it. She has to swallow her pride, and any earlier thoughts of self-importance, when Mr Wheeler essentially forces her into bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy.

Serena has finally realised the obvious. With the locked gates, security, no phone or ability to leave, she's simply a walking womb in the Wheeler home.

How sad for her.

I'm cackling.

Maybe the Wheelers maid will make her humble pie for tomorrow's breakfast. Image: SBS.

NO.

In the dark woods, on the way back to the Canadian border, Jaden has stepped on a mine.

What did I tell you?! 

The explosion makes me jump out of my skin and WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE ONE NICE THING!!!!!

Jaden, now one leg down, tells Luke and June to run.

But as they leg it back towards the border, Gilead guards chase them down.

GODDAMNIT.

We've had too many nice Luke and June moments in a row, so now it's time to rip our hearts out again. What does this mean for them? What will Gilead DO? 

Now would be a great time to learn more about Joseph's 'traitor friendly' New Bethlehem plan, please!

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 1: How to get away with murder. 
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 2: GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER. 
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 3: The wedding that wasn't.
• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 4: KEEP YOUR SH*TTY STATE OUT OF CANADA.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: SBS/Mamamia.