Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 1: How to get away with murder.

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Blessed day, fellow sinners.

The Handmaid's Tale, Elisabeth Moss' staring directly into the camera and Max Minghella's eyebrows are back for another season of horror, mayhem, and hopefully... mayday.

Precisely 30 seconds has taken place between the final scene of season four and this opening of season five. Feels unfair. The rest of us have aged more than a year in that time.

Fred f***ing Waterford is dead (I fist pump every time I remember!) and June's just kind of... marinating in his blood while 'All I Have To Do Is Dream' plays and she looks gleeful.

Cool and normal.

I did not anticipate the opening moments of this season to be... euphoric. Image: MGM.

June has much more important business to take care of than washing off the bodily liquids of the man she just killed.

Remember how we all thought she was going to run away or go into hiding at the end of season four? Turns out she just had brunch plans.

In Gilead, please give a round of applause to Nick and his eyebrows. 

Except... he's home, with his WIFE. 

Why do I feel betrayed?

She asks about "June" and "if what she needed to do is done" and ????

How much does she know? It feels unusual that she'd know anything about this, unless she was cool, right? DO WE LIKE HER Y/N?

I'm so confused! Image: MGM.

Anyway, there is no time to worry about that because we simply must watch a very pregnant Serena do yoga. A group of International Criminal Court (ICC) officers interrupt her, with guns.

Most of them are women, with guns and power. I f***ing LOVE when Gilead people have to deal with women who are allowed to read and write and... live their own lives.

THIS IS THE MOMENT.

Serena is told Fred is dead, and so begins the era of close-up shots of Yvonne Strahovski's face, to rival Moss'.

Elsewhere, June and Fred's blood meet her Handmaid army, and more of Fred's blood, at the diner. What better way to celebrate committing savage murder against the man who abused you for years than with pancakes!

And eggs. And bacon. And more eggs. There's sausage, and more pancakes. With maple syrup, obviously. This is Canada. 

Murder sure does work up an appetite.

This show is so cinematic and I... can't stop laughing at this. Image: MGM.

After washing things down with a milkshake, June is gifted a gun. Feels like a bad idea.

They discuss who else they can hunt as vigilantes, and June's like 'thank you for helping me kill Fred but we can't just charge into Gilead and murder everyone else, I'm afraid'.

We'll see about that.

At a safe house, that doesn't look that safe on account of the GIANT GLASS WINDOWS THAT VERY OBVIOUSLY SHOW SERENA STANDING THERE, STARING OUT THEM, Tuello arrives to tell Serena WTF happened to her husband.

He tells her about the plan to deliver Fred back to Gilead, how he was intercepted after being handed over, oh and THE SEVERED FINGER IN THE MAIL. 

Serena knows immediately from the 'Nolite te bastardes carborundorum' sprawled under Fred's body that this was June. Tuello then has to be like, 'lol oh sh*t, idk how he ended up strung up at the hands of a dozen angry former slaves, soz'.

June heads to Emily's house only to learn that Emily went back to Gilead as a rebel. So that's how they wrote Alexis Bledel out of the show. It's a little unsatisfying tbh, but there's not much else they could do.

After Sylvia rips June a new one, she comes to realise what being covered in Fred's blood really means. It suddenly feels oppressive, just another symbol of how she hasn't been able to escape Gilead.

In a public toilet, she scrubs it off in a panic, before wading into water and sobbing while thinking about Hannah.

Luke meets her at the police station and she apologises for "ruining his f***ing life".

"June, you are my f***ing life," he responds.

NOPE. STOP. I'M CRYING.

BAWLING. Image: MGM.

They both acknowledge the pull of Gilead - of Hannah - and June tells him she has to turn herself in for her crime. 

This desire to punish herself is... so sad. Is it noble? Justified? I don't know. All I know is that... she probably shouldn't have done it but also, whatever, Fred deserved it. 

She admits everything to the Canadian police, who inform her that she cannot be charged because this all happened in no-man's-land. She didn't break any Canadian laws and well, she's free to go.

"There can't just be no punishment," she says, confused.

OH. I GET IT. So it's like... if she can get away with literal murder, does that mean everyone who has wronged her in that totalitarian patriarchal, theocratic hellscape can escape justice too?

However, June does need to pay an $80 fine for transporting an unsecured biological sample. LOL.

Speaking of biological samples... Serena has gone to visit whatever is left of Fred.

She keeps reminiscing about them dancing, which feels like a choice. I would much rather she recall that time he cut off her finger.

Tuello arrives, and she asks to formally petition the Canadian government to reconsider its capital punishment laws. I cackled. THIS IS CANADA, YOU IDIOT. THEY'RE SO NICE THEY'VE BEEN HOLDING YOUR WAR CRIMINAL ASS IN WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A DAY SPA.

She's informed of the no-man's-land development, and takes it really well.

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT YOU CAN PROTECT ME FROM HER," she yells, and... lol she has a point.

She pulls off the sheet on Fred's body and good lord.......... that's nasty.

Image: MGM.

Even grosser is that when Serena leaves, she is greeted by a candlelight vigil from supporters.

The people yell out things like "God rest his soul" and it is 10 times more sickening than seeing Fred's torn out torso.

Serena is... pleased. This means opportunity.

"I'm taking my husband home to bury him," she tells Tuello. "I will see that the Commander has a proper burial in the nation that he founded. The Waterford name has power and that will be respected and remembered."

She's emboldened. Thanks, I hate it.

June arrives home after a big day of pancakes and not being arrested. 

Luke is down for wine, but Moira is not as chill about that whole murder thing. 

They discuss Emily, and all the other people who go back into Gilead, which I know in my heart is foreshadowing but I am choosing to ignore for now. WHO WOULD DO THAT, INDEED.

Moira is like, 'I'm going to give your daughter a bath because you murdered a guy 24 hours ago and I'm not sure that's the kind of energy Nichole needs right now'. Fair.

After presumably dropping Serena back at the day spa, Tuello visits June.

He offers a warning: both Serena and Gilead are scared that a Handmaid killed her Commander, and scared to be dangerous. 

But then.

"I just came to say, well done," he says.

WHAT. 

"You did something terrible, but it needed to be done... May he rot in hell."

He's an icon and a legend and he is the moment. Image: MGM.

OKAY MR TUELLO. WE STAN.

And with a good ol' "don't let the bastards grind you down," he leaves, with June feeling a little less defeated as a result.

Inside, Nichole is hating bath time and it might be the most relatable thing we've seen on this show in forever. 

She's only able to be comforted by her mother, and we end with a parting shot of June and her daughter, clean, and enjoying a tiny window of peace while they can.

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps The Handmaid's Tale, season 5, episode 2: GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: MGM Television/Mamamia.