On the weekend I read something that resonated. Written by Caitlin Moran, a funny and slightly crazy journalist I have come to love, it was one of her more serious columns. She wrote about her first panic attack and the simple tool she now employs to deter them. She erected some barriers in her mind and when her thoughts begin to encroach any of them she quickly tells herself – loud and clear – to SHUT UP. And it works.
It reminded me of my own little tool which I use less to deter panic attacks, more to alleviate the exhaustion, boredom and angst that accompanies general anxiety. I’ve mentioned before that I sway towards the anxious side of life’s pendulum. In itself that’s a marked improvement because there was a time I didn’t even realise it was a pendulum, let alone one I could navigate myself.
I didn’t realise that the way we think is a choice. I thought that like height, shoe size and femur length, it was one of the great, slightly tragic, unchangeable facts of life. Turns out it’s not. It’s relatively easy to change.
I learned this less from a voluntary wander down discovery lane, more from an abrupt push into a small den of despair, but the outcome was the same.
As with most crises it was a chapter I’d prefer to have skipped but in hindsight it had pluses. Having trawled through some unpleasant terrain I was able to scramble out the other side with a better appreciation for ordinary terrain. Even better, some awareness, that I could mould my own ordinary terrain.
The analogy that helped most was putting myself on a strict, detoxifying diet. For my mind. I’ve always been conscious of eating well. I’m not macrobiotic or vegan or on the raw food bandwagon, but on the whole I’ve always tried to put more good things in my mouth than bad. I didn’t adopt the same approach with my mind.
Instead, I realised I was in the habit of force-feeding myself a rather destructive diet of undesirable, unhelpful and frankly unnecessary, titbits.
Top Comments
No, bad thoughts don't taste good, but they're still so addictive. Will be trying both suggestions out!!
Georgie I really enjoyed this post - and one of my top three positive things today is going to be implementing your 'top three' suggestion before sleep.
My work-life balance has been non existent lately (doing anywhere between 12 and 16 hours a day x 6 days a week - and yes, I know I am the only one that can put a stop to this!) and I am starting to have that anxious feeling when I go to bed about emails that still need to be sent. I have even started composing emails in my dreams - or at least what seems like dreams but may be that space between awake and restless sleep.
So thanks for the tip - I am starting my three positive/happy things tonight!
Thanks Jo. How did you go with your three positives last night? xo