We all got the memo that the only way to a better body is through good diet and exercise, right? I mean, I wasn’t in Pilates trying to achieve the impossible and get myself a thigh gap when some well respected scientist took to a lectern and announced that there is a miracle solution that sheds pounds while requiring little to no effort, was I?
No? Then why the heck are we still persisting with the search when we know the only way to get rid of our arse is to get off it??
As I perused the internet this week I came across not one but two of the most ridiculous weight loss solutions I’ve ever heard of, and I haven’t even included that bird who lives on nothing but bananas… it’s no surprise you’re skinny, sweetheart, you’re not eating anything.
The first of these ingenious regimes is ‘The Corset Diet’ brought to you by the good people at www.thecorsetdiet.com
According to their website they offer “surgical gastric band stomach reduction the Victorian way” and before you start thinking that ‘The Victorian Way’ means getting knocked out with chloroform while an under-aged chimney sweep comes in to broom out your excess fat, or a meal plan reminiscent of the ‘Irish Potato Famine’, the ‘Corset Diet’ actually requires nothing of you except wearing a corset for 6 hours a day. So simple, and perfect if you work in an organisation that doesn’t mind if you turn up for work looking like you’re off to a bondage night after close of business.
Described by health experts as a solution they would not recommend for long term weight loss, the good people at corsetdiet.com have rebuffed those ‘scientific’ opinions from members of the ‘medical’ fraternity and stated that despite those doctors combined years of study and research, their own ‘research’ has found that this is actually the ‘best’ way to shift stubborn kilos fast.
Here I was thinking that the most reliable opinion was always that of the individuals who went to university but apparently we’re to take our advice from an organisation that I’m pretty sure is just the Ponds Institute dressed up for a ‘50 Shades of Grey’ party.