The most passive aggressive (and hilarious) office kitchen note ever.

By MAMAMIA TEAM

We’re not going to waste your time with unnecessary introductions with this one.

Instead, we’ll just present you with the most passive-aggressive (and hilarious) office kitchen note we’ve ever seen. It came via Reddit, under the heading ‘Are your workplaces as intense as this?’

If you can’t read it, here’s a run down of what it says:

SAFE HANDLING AND PROCEDURES FOR CORRECT LOADING OF DISH WASHERS

It has been identified that some staff have complained about the lack of formal induction training on the correct procedure for handling of soiled dished and loading therof into a dish washing machine. To address this concern, HR group has develop section 42.6.7, ‘Safe handling and Procedure for correct loading and unloading of dish washing machines,’ referred to here as ‘stacking dishes procedure’.

The stacking dishes procedure (SDP) should be used by all staff to ensure safe and proper handling of dishes and/or cutlery as applicable. Incorrect handling of dished can lead to an unsafe workplace causing:

• Dish rage from fellow co-workers who have to clean up after you
• Higher rates of tranfer of communicable diseases from improperly soiled cutlery and dishes
• Greater rejection from person and executive administration staff whom are called upon to do the dirty work for others as a last resort and will often discriminate against those who do not comply with the SDP
• Isolation and mistreatment of staff known to regularly fail to use the SDP

The SDP process is laid out in the following steps.

1. Remove heavy food residue from the dish and dispose of any food waste receptacle provided.
2. Remove light residue from the dish by briefly rinsing the item and/or apply the dish cleaning device (brush or sponge) provided.
3. Open the automated dish washing appliance door (DWAD) fully. This is important as attempting to load the DWA with the DWAD closed will cause breakage of dishes and create an unsafe workplace. Please note that attempting to open the DWAd while the DWA is in operation will cause a horrific scene.
4. Gently unroll either the upper or lower dish rack (UDR or LDR). In accordance with the DWA manufacturer specifications, glasses and cups are to be loaded inverted (that’s upside down) in the UDR in a free space. All other items should be placed in the LDR. Gently roll the UDR or LDR back into place. Note: Sharp items should be loaded pointy end downwards to avoid horrific scene when the LDR is unloaded.
5. The DWAD should now be gently raised and firmly pushed closed until the safety latch is audibly heard to ‘click’ into place.

Please note that the SDP and DWA can be safely used by male and/or female and or female staff. It even works for both the left and right hands. No medical side effects have been identified by the Surgeon General from the excessive use of DWA.

Hats off to whoever wrote this, and the workplace that’s willing to have a laugh.

Do you have any bizarre office rules?