It’s…bizarre.
This was my first thought when I read the note The Bachelorette’s Rhys Chilton shared on Facebook on Friday. Titled, ‘Choke me, Spank me, Pull my hair,’ the essay begins as an odd ode to BDSM, but then quickly descends into something that looks far more like sexism.
Basically, he wants to have a big philosophical conversation about women who like to be spanked and choked in the bedroom. You ready?
The post opens with a small disclaimer that all speculation is simply Rhys’ own opinion that he’s drawn from his own “considerable research”. Pause for collective shock that a man has subtly suggested he has slept with a lot of women. No? Okay. Moving on.
He then dedicates it to the women – or rather, the “girls” – who enjoy taking on a submissive role during sex.
“This is for the girls out there who like being choked a little, having their asses spanked and hair pulled,” he writes.
“You little freaks. You sexy as f- little freaks, LOL.”
"But over the years I’ve come to understand it more and more and now I’ve taken the 5 minutes to look deeper into it," he writes. "Why do you like it so much?"
The 29-year-old goes on to share why he believes women are speaking openly about being dominated by men in the bedroom.
"Well the obvious answers are that it makes you feel more like a woman in a way, you give up control to a stronger male and you’re in turn, petite and vulnerable," he writes.
He then brings up the rise of BDSM in popular culture and books such as Fifty Shades of Grey, before he shares his central theory.
"I have a theory about why it’s a growing thing. And guys, you’re not going to like it," he writes.
"We men aren’t being very manly any more."
Interesting, interesting.
Chilton continues with a brief step back in time to "150 years ago," when "the average woman probably felt dominated by her man for most of her day or week".
And what a great time it was for women - a time when we were seen as so inferior we were denied the right to vote, work in professions beyond "women's work" and achieve tasks beyond the walls of a kitchen.
The former reality television contestant continues his walk down memory lane.
"A man would take charge and make decisions, telling his woman what to do and that’s just how things were," he writes.
"It was a lifestyle and despite the many that will refute it, I know there are many out there today who still dream of being a full-time wife and mother."
Well, Chilton. You got us there. Some women do enjoy being a full-time wife and mother and I bet a lot of men enjoy that role too.
"Now don’t get me wrong, I want 100% equality and this isn’t about that at all," he writes.
"This is about women not being fully satisfied by the lack of masculinity surrounding them in day to day life."
"I ask the ladies reading this, do the skinny jeans and man buns leave you craving more? After a full day of interacting with men who no longer naturally lead and make decisions, do you feel there is something missing?"
Chilton seems not to notice how men "naturally leading" and "making decisions" might go against the whole idea of 100 per cent equality.
The post then returns to its original subject matter about communication in the bedroom and how sexual partners should always communicate their desires before getting together.
However, women aren't all lusting after the presence of some masculine dominating force - nor are they harking out for a trip down oppressed memory lane.
Maybe stick to poetry, Rhys.
Top Comments
Jesus Christ. Everything he's written tells me he literally knows nothing about women, BDSM or history.
This is one confused little puppy... I bet all the girls are hitting you up now wannabe-Australia's answer to Christian Grey!!!