Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: THEY'RE STILL FIGHTING OVER THE CHAIR.

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It's the second episode of The Bachelorette.

Do you know what that means?

IT'S PHOTOSHOOT DAY, B*TCHES.

Watch The Bachelorette 2021 trailer below. Post continues after video.

We open on Holly, who reads out the names of the guys and girls attending the all-important group date.

After arriving at a house that legitimately looks like Downton Abbey, the contestants are told that they'll be participating in a ~romantic~ festive-themed photoshoot.

Yes, it's time for Osher to dress the contestants in embarrassing outfits while they judge each other and fight over the same woman. How romantic.

For the first photoshoot, Kurt, who is basically our ol' mate Timm with a haircut, Jamie-Lee, and Carissa, are teamed up for a New Year's Day pool party shoot. 

TIMM??? IS THAT YOU? Image: Channel 10. 

To prepare for the shoot, Timm 2.0 does sit-ups and push-ups and contours his abs. Obviously.

"Is it working???" Image: Channel 10.

For the second photo shoot, carpenter Konrad is paired up with Jess and Brooke for a Valentine's Day scene... because Osher clearly wants to start a lil bit of drama.

Carpenter Konrad keeps talking about the "elephant in the room" with Jess, and ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT FKN CHAIR???

"I feel like there's still tension between Jess and I," he says.

"At the first cocktail party, I asked everyone to give Brooke and I the first opportunity to use the love seat."

Carpenter Konrad. Sir. We have questions.

1. Are we really calling THIS a love seat?

Seriously. Image: Channel 10.

2. Are you really here for Brooke, or are you here for the love seat that you allegedly "made"?

3. And are you secretly related to Rob Thomas aka the lead singer of hit 2000s band Matchbox Twenty? 

Pls respond.

ARE YOU? Image: Channel 10/Getty. It's time for carpenter Konrad and Jess' photoshoot and things are... not going well.

While carpenter Konrad and Brooke pose like they're on a romantic Valentine's Day dinner date, Jess stands behind them like an extremely well-dressed waiter.

They're literally feeding each other while Jess just... stands there.

"Just shout when you want the bill guys." Image: Channel 10.

Jess shares that she's feeling a lil bit awkward, and carpenter Konrad fires back that she should just "jump in" and take his spot. (We love a callback.)

And so, Jess does just that.

After swapping spots with Jess, carpenter Konrad stands awkwardly behind them and look, Osher, we know you orchestrated this. There are three people, and you only provided two chairs. 

"Jess is straight in there. She steals my seat... and she's good at it," carpenter Konrad says. (Yes, he's talking about the fkn chair fiasco again.)

Eventually, carpenter Konrad comes up with a solution. He decides to kick Jess out of the fake Valentine's Day dinner date scene so that he can propose to Brooke.

"Please?" Image: Channel 10.

"So, how many kids are we gonna have?" he asks her.

Goodness. This is moving fast.

Next up, Matt, Ryan, Bec and Beau the #instagramboyfriend join Brooke for a Halloween-themed photoshoot.

As the shoot begins, Beau the #instagramboyfriend begins to take it... way too seriously. He's pouting and posing and honestly, he probably should have applied for Australia's Next Top Model instead.

"I have a pretty big advantage here," he says. 

"I look pretty good."

We love a humble king. Image: Channel 10.

Meanwhile, Ryan seizes the opportunity to get a new Facebook profile picture, leaving Brooke feeling... invisible.

"I like to get in front of that camera as much as I can. These photos are gonna be in newspapers all over Australia. So many people are gonna see me," Ryan says excitedly.

"It kind of felt like the boys were more interested in getting the actual shot," Brooke says. "It kinda feels like I don't exist."

Ooooooh.

It's time for the special couple photoshoot.

Brooke has asked Holly to join her for a New Year's Eve photoshoot, AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO GOOD.

They share a dance and a cuddle and there are literal fireworks.

YES. Image: Channel 10.

It's the next day and Brooke is taking Darvid on a helicopter ride for the very first single date. 

IS JIMOTHY FLYING IT Y/N???

For their date, Brooke and Darvid sit on the edge of a cliff in the rain. 

Is this... necessary? Image: Channel 10.

So, how do you get supplies on a cliff... date? A rogue man in a tuxedo abseils down the cliff face with a picnic basket, of course. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After talking about their feelings for one another, Brooke presents Darvid with a rose and they share a kiss as dramatic gospel-like music plays in the background. 

WE SENSE A FRONTRUNNER.

THE MUSIC. THE SETTING. Image: Channel 10.

It's time for the cocktail party.

Brooke arrives in a lime green suit, and can we just take a moment to appreciate the fashion this season? It's next level.

After Brooke takes Matt away for a chat, Darvid decides to interrupt them, leaving Emily... livid.

via GIPHY

"That's really f**ked," she says.

"I hate that."

While Brooke has a chat with Holly (and gives her a rose), Emily confronts Darvid.

"I'm no longer trusting you. I thought you were a really kind person, and I thought you had potential to be a really good friend," she says.

"It just hurt my feelings. I knew someone was going to do that, but it doesn't make it less painful. What you've done is a reflection of you, not me."

Darvid is... not amused. Image: Channel 10.

IT'S ROSE CEREMONY TIME. 

Carpenter Konrad get a rose. Timm 2.0 gets a rose. And Emily gets a rose.

Oh no.

Beau the #instagramboyfriend is sent home.

At least he got some cool Halloween pics for Tinder, right?

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

Catch up on The Bachelorette recaps:

• Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: We have our first 'dog act' of the season.

Jessica Staveley is a Senior Entertainment Writer and Weekend Editor at Mamamia. For more pop culture content (and bonus dachshund content), you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: Channel 10.