First we thought The Bachelor, Sam Wood was definitely choosing Heather. Then we thought Lana was in with a shot. Some started to convince themselves that Sarah was a shoe in before she got booted from the final three. But no one, no one said Snezana was even a possibility.
So why did we discount Snezana? Well the answer is painfully clear.
It was because she is a single mum.
Her child was the reason that no one piped up and said, "It’s definitely Snezana." Her child was a blockade in our vision and we missed the obvious signs.
Snezana was everything Wood was looking for. Their chemistry was always strong. He was most relaxed around her – and never NEVER did he say he had a problem with her having a child.
But we all thought he did. “He won’t choose her because he doesn't want a kid,” was a sentence I heard flung around a lot, right up until tonight. The shocked gasps from the audience when the final rose was laid to bed was resounding.
No one thought Snezana stood a chance.
And this is coming from a chorus of feminists. Of women who believe all women are equal. Whether you’re a working mum, single mum, childfree, infertile, young or old, we believe you deserve an equal chance at love. But still we completely dismissed the woman who had ‘extra luggage’.
But why?
Someone who used to work on The Bachelor says, “my feels are that [Snezana] ticks all the boxes: beautiful, smart, funny, isn’t precious or a princess, loves food, likes starwars etc. But regardless of all her awesome traits she was instantly written off because she’s a mum.”
“It says a lot about how we look at single mums as a society,” she continues.
And it’s true. Of all the women in our office, not one guessed Snezana. Myself included. I thought Lana seemed too obvious a choice so said that Sarah would win. When she was voted off last night I said, ‘well it has to be Lana then’.
“Knowing who wins means my opinion is skewed. I’d probably be thinking the same as everyone else otherwise,” says a person who previously worked on The Bachelor.
Maybe we were made to believe it was Lana so the dramatic twist at the end would get Channel 10 ratings. Maybe we just thought it was skewed toward Lana because we couldn’t see past the fact that Snezana was a single mum.
My colleague says, “Also, I think people having children is just a reality of dating in your 30s.” Yet every single woman I know forgot about that.
From every interview that Sam Wood has done while the show has been airing he’s said that he’s very much in love with his chosen woman.
We were so quick to judge the fact that Snez has a child and so quick to assume that Wood wouldn’t want a woman who already had a kid. We couldn’t look past the shiny young thing that was Lana and forgot that a women like Snezana is just as amazing.
It says a lot about how our society views single mums. It says a lot about how we believe men view single mums. And it has a lot to do with how quick we are to judge someone who doesn’t live up to the young, single, childless mould that we put ‘marriage material’ in.
We all thought it was going to be Lana. But it was the gorgeous single mum who’s taken the last rose and Sam Wood’s heart.
We hope Snezana and Sam go on to have a long and happy life together.
Did you think Snezana was going to win?
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