Mamamia recaps The Bachelor: A tense photoshoot leads to a confrontation at the cocktail party.

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We open on Osher arriving at the mansion. 

The women scream in excitement as they should. 

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Osher pulls out a date card and there is yet more... screaming. 

Finger-gunning Laura opens the date card and pulls out two boarding passes - one for Jimothy and one for Brooke. 

Sierah says of course it's Brooke because she's so nice and small and sweet. 

"It must be so wonderful for her."  

SURPRISE. 

Jimothy is taking Brooke for a ride on a light aircraft because he's a pilot you see. 

But, oh no, there's a storm and they may perish and will never be able to make terrible aviation puns again. 

"AT LEAST WE DIED DURING WHAT WE LOVED."

Back the mansion, Sierah is working hard on her audition for the role of "villain in an American teen movie". 

The group date card arrives and a woman I have literally never seen before reads out the names of the women who will be going. 

Obviously Sierah gets the call up. 

Back at the single date, Brooke is being all small and cute and sweet and Jimothy loves it. 

"I also enjoy seeing the best in people at all times." 

Jimothy gives her a rose and they kiss BUT WAIT. 

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR. 

The time when our good friend Osher puts together an elaborate photoshoot challenge so each and every contestant has a chance to stand around, judging the others. 

First up, is the "meet cute" photoshoot. 

Finger-gunning Laura is dressed as a granny named Beryl but somehow - against all the odds - by the end of the photoshoot she has her tits out. 

"GRANNY'S GOT THE GOODS." 

Next is the wedding photoshoot. 

Belinda is playing a jealous bridesmaid and gets into character by squatting in the aisle and asking the photographer whether he can see her... vagina. 

"I FORGOT MA KNICKERS." 

She then starts physically assaulting the "bride" and calling her a ho, before laying a kiss on Jimothy. 

WHAT

IS

HAPPENING

It's brilliant TV tbh. 

Oh yes, Sierah is here. She's doing her photoshoot with a woman named Tahnee who, according to Sierah, has less personality than a wooden spoon.

The final photoshoot, is a single photoshoot with a blonde woman called Lily. 

She's so small she has to stand on a box and the women aren't happy about it. 

"IT'S RIDICULOUS." 

They get all wet and Jimothy takes his shirt off and they kiss. Laura yells out "of course he's not going to kiss Beryl" and I love her. 

"STANDING ON HER BOX!"

Jimothy gives the one-on-one time to Lily because of that time she stood on a box and kissed him. 

IT'S COCKTAIL PARTY TIME! 

Sierah's busy telling the rest of the women about how much of a wet blanket Tahnee is when Jimothy arrives. 

Jay immediately takes him into the "business lounge". 

"SNOORE." 

Tahnee arrives and Sierah tells her she ruined their photoshoot by being boring and also... pulling her hair.

Tahnee says she's sorry she didn't realise her personality was so personally offensive to Sierah and storms off. 

The woman who literally won't stop telling everyone how much she hates pilots takes Jimothy for a chat and tells him all about planes. 

Small, cute, sweet Brooke is upset because other small, cute, sweet women are getting Jimothy's attention. 

Sierah throws some random woman out of the way and takes Jimothy for a chat. She apologises to him about that wooden spoon she fought with during the photoshoot and then she does this... 

COOL. 

Jimothy looks genuinely... terrified. 

In the background, Tahnee says she will "f*cken kick off" if Sierah gets a rose and she doesn't, and how do ya like that personality, Sierah? 

IT'S ROSE CEREMONY TIME. 

Tahnee and Sierah both get roses after spending approximately all night talking about how they'll kick off if they don't. 

NOOOOOOO.

Belinda does not get a rose. 

I miss her already. 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK. 

Keryn Donnelly is Mamamia's Pop Culture Editor. For more of her TV, film and book recommendations and to see photos of her dog, follow her on Instagram. 

Catch up on the rest of Keryn's recaps here: 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor: One woman won't stop talking about how much she hates... pilots.

Feature Image: Channel 10.