“My heart is black and my body is full of anger and I wish I was dead.”
Can you imagine what it would be like to hear those chilling words from your 10-year-old son?
Yet Adam Schwartz said that exact sentence to his mother 14 years ago as he struggled to cope with crippling depression.
Thankfully, Adam is now 24 and he says he is now well after having undergone electric shock therapy.
In this incredibly raw video, he shares his battle with mental illness with Mamamia TV and talks about how parents can help teens who are going through a similar struggle.
If you don’t have time to watch the full interview you can head to the below cue points for the most powerful parts:
01:34 – At 10 years old, Adam said, “My heart is black and my body is full of anger and I wish I was dead.”
07:05 – As a teenager, his mind was so broken he lost the ability to walk.
08:50 – When he was suicidal at 15, he finally got help.
11:44 – As a teenager, he coped by emailing his mum about his fears.
14:39 – Adam speaks about his electric shock therapy.
19:00 – He offers advice to other young people suffering from depression.
For more on Resilience:
Related Jessica Rowe is searingly honest about her Post Natal Depression.
Related Robin Bailey’s husband died tragically last year. For the first time she talks about his death.
Related The happiest people all say it. Meditation is the answer.
Watch more from Mamamia TV here.
Adam Schwartz is the author of Mum, I Wish I Was Dead: The story of a teenager who conquered depression. You can buy a copy here.
Top Comments
You are very courageous Adam and you inspire.
My 8 year old son was diagnosed with depression. At 7 he struggled with anxiety. As I'd suffered from depression for most of my life I quickly recognised that something was very very wrong with his mental health and got treatment.
It was incredibly hard trying to explain to teachers and other adults that even though he sometimes laughed he still had serious mental health issues. I got the impression that they thought I was being manipulated by him and that I should just toughen up: force him to go to school on days when he couldn't stop crying and complaining of feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Moreover, I'm not sure how much physical force I was meant to use to achieve this feat. I used none and kept working with his mental health providers to get him back.
He is 14 years old now. Because of his early history with depression he is much more likely to have another episode in his teens. He seems ok at the moment, but I'm terrified that he will suicide. All i can do is watch and worry.
Dear Grumper Monster I would like to somehow contact you. We have exactly the same situation. At 7 my sone was diagonsed wiht Depression and Anxiety, He got a bit better unitl about 10 and a half and since then has spiralled downward with suicidal thoughts, dejectedness, explosive rages, deep sadness, self hate and on it goes. He is not open to any form of help so we have abandoned all psychology and psychiatry. But I am like you - I live in fear of his teens. He is now 11 and I am so afraid for the future.