Tammin Sursok was 'shellshocked' by motherhood. This is why.

Tammin Sursok was a staple on Australian TV when she played Dani Sutherland on Home and Away in the early '00s.

Since then, her star has continued to rise with successful stints on US soap The Young and the Restless, along with taking on an iconic villain role in Pretty Little Liars.

The South-African born Australian married husband Sean McEwen in 2011 before giving birth to their first child in October 2013 and their second daughter in January 2019.

After only taking on a handful of acting roles in recent years, Sursok is currently on the publicity trail for her latest movie Blood, Sweat and Cheer, which is available on Tubi.

Image: Tubi. 

Sursok joined Mamamia's This Glorious Mess podcast to discuss adapting to motherhood and some of the struggles she's faced along the way.

In the interview, she shared that while she currently has a four-year-old and 10-year-old, she's unsure if she would have a third child.

"I have to be honest, like, I'm getting older and my husband's 11 years older than me and I think the idea of a third is great in theory," she said.

"I had my first when I was like 28 years old so I think I just had a little more energy. And then it's just kind of the idea of – what do we want to focus on, as our lives move forward? It's okay to say this, like, it's not selfish to say this, but I really want to be focusing on my career."

When asked about the six-year gap between her kids, Sursok said she needed time to deal with the emotions from the first birth before having a second. 

"When I had my first child, I feel like... no one really prepares you for that. I think that we've done such a disservice to each other until recently with the birth of podcasts and everyone oversharing on social media," she said.  

"My children are the best things that have ever happened to me, but I had a huge loss of identity and I felt like my life didn't look the same... no one talks to you about what sleep deprivation actually looks like, and the fact that I really couldn't breastfeed, and how much guilt and shame is coupled with that."

Tammin's assumptions about the 'life-changing' experience of becoming a mother didn't meet her expectations. 

"I was so ravaged by motherhood and very shellshocked." 

The actress found the experience of having a Cesarean delivery to be especially traumatising. "The C-section was really intense for me – like, I had a doula, I paid thousands of dollars, I thought it was gonna be this 'kumbaya' birth. 

"I was cut from one end to the other, I was on morphine, I was shaking from literally being on drugs. I don't even remember it," she said. 

Reflecting on that time, Sursok said she wished more mothers were transparent about what they go through. 

"I felt so alone. I felt so lost in motherhood," she said. 

"I think the perfectionism of what motherhood is supposed to look like makes us sad and depressed."

Listen to the full interview with Tammin on This Glorious Mess. Post continues after podcast.

The 39-year-old actress made an exciting announcement recently that she has plans to move her family to Australia on a part-time basis. In a TikTok that Tammin posted about the differences between the US and Australia, when a commenter asked if she ever thought about moving back, she replied, “We are working on doing 50/50."

Aside from acting, Tammin also hosts a podcast Women On Top, which features raw and honest conversations about being female and becoming a mother.

Feature image: Getty + IG/TamminSursok + Mamamia.