I recently stumbled across a Facebook status that caught my attention. An acquaintance of mine was proudly proclaiming that this particular day marked one whole month since they had stopped taking anti-depressants, and was ecstatic.
Normally, I would have barely batted an eyelid… if it hadn’t been the third time this year I had seen a status of this sort on my newsfeed. And if I hadn’t recently had a friend very firmly tell me that although she was incredibly depressed, there was no way in hell she would consider taking anti-depressants.
All of this has left me feeling a little, well… shit, to be honest. I have been taking anti-depressants for over two years, after my brain basically threw up its’ hands and yelled ‘I’m done!’. Since then, I’ve become quite familiar with the world of serotonin inhibiting pills. I also have a tendency to start my sentences with ‘well, when I was talking to my psychologist…’, which is an excellent indication of where my life is at.
The point is, it seems to me that lately, I’m talking to more and more people who are determined to stay away from anti-depressants or cut them from their lives completely. They talk about feeling pathetic for being ‘reliant’ on medication, or they refuse to become one of ‘those people’ who just uses medication to avoid their problems.
For a while, this started to make me feel extremely self-conscious about my own prescription. I felt a bit like a sad old blob fish. Why was I so afraid of not taking my medication? I heard people around me saying they desperately wanted to stop taking their anti-depressants, and I wished I had the strength to just live a ‘normal’, medication-free life.
I decided to take a good look at my situation. When I considered slowly weaning myself off my anti-depressants, the only positive I could think of was that I would save a good eighty-odd dollars per month, which would mean getting my hair done more than once a year, thus leaving me looking a lot less like Hagrid’s cousin (possibly one of my many underlying issues). Basically, my life at the moment is a bit of a mess.