The most unflattering style of wedding dress.

by NATALIA HAWK

Why is it that 75% of wedding gowns are strapless, considering that 95% of the population do not even suit strapless dresses?

This is the question journalist Katherine Goldstein wanted an answer to, after going shopping for a wedding dress and barely being able to find any with sleeves.

She wrote for Slate magazine:

“For fun, I tried on a peach Vera Wang strapless number with a billowing skirt. I felt like a double-wide cupcake. Spying my lack of cleavage in the mirror cemented one certainty for me: I didn’t want a strapless gown.

This decision turned out to be a problem. Strapless wedding gowns are by far the most common style. Kate Berry, the style director for Martha Stewart Weddings, estimates that while alternative necklines are starting to become more popular, about 75 percent of wedding dresses are strapless.

She came up with a couple of theories as to why so many women choose strapless wedding frocks – even though they’re unflattering:

– Brides interested in following tradition find themselves hemmed into having a floor length gown, but they still want to feel beautiful on their Big Day, and so they opt for strapless, skin-exposing numbers in an effort to avoid dowdiness.

– Designers prefer to make bridal gowns strapless because they’re easier. Sleeves are tricky, and dresses without them are much more quick and painless to alter.

Let’s face it – there are very few winners in the world of the strapless dress.

If your boobs are large, you may suffer from what’s commonly referred to as “spillover cleavage”. If your boobs are small, the dress won’t stay up. If your dress is tight enough to stay up, you may have to contend with that issue we have dubbed  “The Armpit Muffin Top” which is really not ideal but very very common.

If you try to avoid Armpit Muffins by wearing a looser fitting dress, you’ll spend 3/4 of the night pulling it up and the other 1/4 wondering if you should be pulling it up, while simultaneously kicking yourself for wearing an ugly strapless bra.

Do not get us started on strapless bras. This post is already long enough.

I’ll admit that I have been sucked in to the allure of the strapless dress before. Many times, in fact, including two school formals, my 21st birthday, several Balinese holidays and various other social occasions.

Let’s just say that there is a reason hardly anyone can access my Facebook page, and that’s because there is too much incriminating evidence out there thanks to my penchant for those dresses. Including the odd uniboob, armpit muffins and terrible tan line.

Do you like strapless dresses? If you’ve had a wedding, did you wear a strapless dress? Would you consider it?

Check out some wedding dresses that will blow you away (even if you have no intention of wearing them) – click here