Here's one request the mortician might baulk at ...

“When I cark it, I want my curtains to match the drapes.”

To say I was perplexed by my friend’s request is something of an understatement.

But she was adamant: even in death, she would not let any part of herself go. In her will, she has specified that when being prepared for burial, she wants everything (and I mean everything) spruced, landscaped, cut and coloured.

And that includes her pubic hair.

I’d asked an innocent enough question. Did she intend to age gracefully or – as will be the case with me – disgracefully. I had explained, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, that when I hit an “acceptable” age, I was going to go let my hair go grey.

To which she asked “What, even your pubes?”

To be honest, I didn’t have an answer. I hadn’t thought much past lunch, let alone determined the condition of my lady garden when I become a senior citizen.

But more power to her. If we don't specify our wishes, in writing, how will anyone know what to do when we shuffle off this mortal coil?

The problem with death is it's morbid and no one wants to imagine a world they aren't participating in. As someone who has organised a funeral, a wake and the disposal of another's worldly possessions, that has to change. It's incredibly overwhelming, especially when you've been left with little direction. Not only do you constantly second guess yourself, you are never quite sure if you are doing the wrong thing.

And when a will can't even be read, by law, until at least 28 days after someone passes, your desire to be buried in your wedding dress alongside your dead dogs ashes might be discovered too late.

Death is the one club we're all going to get membership of at some point, so if we have special requests, we should let someone know about them. Ideally, someone younger, someone trustworthy and someone who won't judge us for any 'out there' requests.

Because they do exist.

Here are a few examples:

One gent we know has specified two competitions be held at his wake: one for the best joke told, the other for the best yarn told. The winners get a cash prize. (The same man has a coffin ready to go. It's currently being used as a wine cabinet; only the shelves need to be removed to pop him in and ship him off.)

Debrief Daily editor Anne Markey has incorporated this in her own will:  "I've set aside $10k for a big lunch for a list of selected friends. My sister has power of veto and can add others who I might have become friends with since my will was written. I've asked for the amount to be indexed to keep up with inflation."

I cannot help but love the fact that she hasn't only thought of her friends, but she's also made sure they've been well and truly taken care of in these unpredictable economic times. Now THAT is forward thinking.

Serena Ryan, host of The New Standard radio, has put in writing the aforementioned 'cuffs must match collar" request. Still not clear about what she means? That the hair on her head and her pubic hair must match and NOT be grey when she meets her maker. As to whether she wants to be buried or cremated, she is conflicted. " I like the idea of being buried head first vertical and then having a tree planted at my feet so I can feed the growth of a tree. But then, I also like the idea of cremation aka, burn baby burn, disco inferno."

Another colleague told the story of her friend who stated that she does not, under any circumstances, want a funeral or a wake but instead, to honour her love of champagne, will nominate an amount for her friends to (liberally) drink champagne together and toast her life.

Luis Carlos de Noronha Cabral da Camara, a Portuguese aristocrat who was a childless bachelor, divvied up his estate by picking 70 names at random from the Lisbon phone book. When he died 13 years later, his attorneys notified the unsuspecting beneficiaries that they stood to inherit their benefactor's cash, his home, and his car. (If that happened today we'd probably think we were being scammed by a Nigerian prince.)

People are often adamant they don't want to their mourners to wear traditional black. That they want their life to be celebrated, not mourned and that the attendees should wear colourful outfits. They also have very strong feelings about the song they want played during the funeral.

Again, if this is written into a will, it might be too late SO TELL SOMEONE!

(For the record, the most requested funeral song of all time is this one:)

So how then, do we make sure our wishes are honoured when we shuffle off this mortal coil? Have the conversation. Today. Go right now and tell the people who'll make the decisions what you want and how you want it. Put it in writing and remind them often.

Mostly, don't be scared to say what you want. Because you only get one shot at it.

Do you have any "different" requests for your own funeral or wake? Perhaps you have some unusual directions left in your will for your loved ones. We'd love for you to tell us below.

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