There was one morning, a few years back, where I fainted before work.
I woke up on the floor of my bedroom. Rubbed the back of my head. Then called my manager to tell her I was sorry, but I’d missed my bus because I’d fainted and that I was going to be late.
She, being a lovely and rational person, told me to a) not come in and b) not to apologise for passing out.
As ridiculous as that story sounds, it’s not exactly uncommon for me to rush to an apology at the first sign of any inconvenience – even if I’m not to blame.
What would it look like if a man lived like a woman for a day? Probably something a lot like this:
Can’t hear what you’re saying? I’ll say sorry.
Need to ask a question? I’ll say sorry.
Did nothing but stand still as you bumped into me? I’ll definitely say sorry.
And I’m not alone in this, either.
According to a study completed at the University of Waterloo’s Department of Psychology, women have a tendency to bring out the “s” word far more often than men. Not because men are unfeeling cretins who won’t apologise, but because women are generally more inclined to class their behaviour as offensive.
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1) I think the habit of saying sorry frequently has its roots in Britain. (See Great British problems for clues about when to say sorry.)
(2) It doesn't make sense that because saying sorry is more often done by females as part of their social skills to improve harmony that we should abandon it to adopt the habits of more aggressive and discordant males. The evidence is everywhere that females are less violent and better at creating harmony so why would we emulate male practice. If women were respected and valued men would be picking up the sorry habit. 'Sorry. I didn't make dinner.' 'Sorry I let you down when I chose work over you.' 'Sorry I didn't appreciate your contribution.' 'Sorry I didn't see how untidy the house had become and attend to it.' The tendency to say sorry brainwashes people into accepting responsibility for themselves and their impact on others.
So, I'm sorry, but I'm not giving up my cultural heritage and my higher gendered interpersonal skills to copy others. I want the non-apologisers to say sorry more, not sink to their level. Sorry if I've hurt your feelings.