Mia Freedman started a conversation this week about our broken school holiday system that I believe has resonated with every parent in Australia in some way, myself included.
There is no denying the moment you discover you’re pregnant, your work-life changes. Whether we like to admit it or not, the moment employers are aware that you have a child on the way, you are perceived differently and if you have children already you’re lucky if you can stay employed or be re-employed at all after maternity leave.
Mia Freedman on why our school holiday system is broken. Post continues below.
After a good 10 years in the workforce, I was finally in a challenging government job I really enjoyed when I fell pregnant and had my first child. Ignorantly, my plan was to return to work after six months. From day one I was completely besotted and more in love with being a mum than I ever thought I would be, so I asked for a further six months unpaid maternity leave with the intention of going back to work three days per week afterwards.
My mum happily volunteered to look after her first grandchild when I did go back to work which would alleviate any childcare costs. Let’s face it, if you don’t have grandparent help, the reality is that for most families, it is hardly worth working.
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So, I couldn't be a stay at home mum, because I had to work to support my family, and we don't go on overseas holidays or have fancy cars. We make ends meet. If you can stay home with your kids and make ends meet with just a partner's income (and whatever work from home you do), you are in a very privileged position indeed. For most women, it's not a choice.
Articles like this are tone deaf, because they assume that women are working so they can have money and status, rather than just trying to keep their heads above water.
I am the opposite. I feel like I don’t have a choice to go back to work... I have 3 kids under school age, who would all require childcare. The cost for 3 kids in childcare (now upwards of $120 a day) even with government subsidies, would leave us hugely out of pocket.
Even with two kids in childcare is cutting it fine and my take home pay would be minuscule.
So yes, I could go back to work and spend all that time driving, working, staying until 6pm for never-ending meetings and then having to take a million sick days because my kids catch every germ under the sun at childcare... (And be out of pocket at the end of it...) or I could just stay home for a few extra years. So I do. And we make do on one salary.
It does mean I will miss out on super and pay rises and be out of the workforce for a few years. So it doesn’t feel very privileged.
It’s not always the privileged position to stay at home. Sometimes if you don’t have family to help care for younger kids or have access to cheaper childcare, it’s the only option.
Why don’t we just be kind to everyone’s different situation and have a little understanding without accusing others of being privileged or their opinions being tone deaf.
It is wonderful and very commendable that you have found a situation that works for your family. Whenever these topics come up though, we only ever get articles from the point of view of the privileged few who actually have a choice.
Most mothers around the world - including Australia have to work. It’s really not about “driving luxury cars, big houses and overseas holidays” for them so I think it’s important not to completely frame the debate around that. My own mother, a single mother worked doing cleaning - she worked long hours and we never could afford holidays or even a new car never mind luxury!!
We also live in a completely different world now where many fathers don’t have job security. Firms and companies no longer keep people for life so I think many people worry about relying on one income in case the breadwinner gets made redundant.