Your kids might be fine, but are YOU ready to send them to school?
Many parents will currently be in the throes of preparing their pre-school children for their first day of school. For first time parents, it’s as colossal a step for them as it is for their child. But are these first time parents really prepared for what their child’s school journey will mean for them?
Many things surprised me during my son’s transition to school life.
I was surprised by the roiling sea of emotions I experienced watching his tiny body struggle under the weight of his gargantuan school bag.
I was surprised by how the feel of his warm, pliable hand slipping from mine at the school gates made me feel proud of his independence, but also desperate to tackle him to the ground, bundle him up and sprint straight back to the safety of home. Because it didn’t seem so long ago that the hand that had just slipped from mine was clasping reflexively around my fingers and stroking at my breast as he fed.
I was also surprised when he kissed me goodbye that I had the strength to contain my emotions, even though my throat was tighter than a drum. But – emotion aside – something else about my firstborn starting school surprised me; and it really had nothing to do with him.
I had heard all the cautionary tales of the perils of interaction with ‘the school mums’: a veritable social minefield. Apparently there would be ‘mean mum’, ‘sporty spice’, ‘helicopter mum’ and ‘glamour puss mum’. Apparently just like high school, but with mortgages.
None of these warnings took root with me. I felt that the start to my son’s school life was just that. A new start to his life. Sure, it would mean that he would not be with me (gulp) but I wasn’t in need of new friends. I have very close girlfriends. We’ve ridden the waves of life together. I was already blessed. I wanted for nothing.
But…throughout those first few weeks of school, feeling slightly bereft and untethered without my son, something strange and lovely started to happen. I looked around the classroom door and saw that I was not alone.
I was surrounded by others like me, as well as second and third-timers who felt either sad about sending their last child off to school, or liberated, or something in between. The only thing that drew us together was this shared experience at the same classroom door: but it was enough.
If you’re lucky enough to find what I have with those women at your child’s classroom door, you may (just like me) come to understand the essence of the saying: “it takes a village to raise a child.”
These women will: shiver alongside you at Auskick every Saturday; pick up your child if you’re running late; scoop up your howling toddler in the playground and comfort him; walk your son home because your smallest child is ill (and offer to do a supermarket run); share meals, champagne and lots of laughs; then exercise the calories off with you; swap cooking and make-up tips; watch movies with you; laugh and cry with you; open their homes to you and your family; and provide sibling friends for your other child. All of the things that friends do for one another. Wait, what? Friends? Yep. The ones I thought I didn’t need.
So to all you first-timers: yes, some of those school mum stereotypes do exist, but in reality we all kind of carry many of the stereotypes inside of us in different measures.
Yes, I have been lucky with the group of women I’ve found. My experience could have been the polar opposite, but it was not and for this I am grateful.
These women have become a part of the landscape of my family’s life, and we’re all the richer for it.
How did you feel when your children started school? What would be your advice to mums about to go through it themselves?
Like this? Try these:
Every single parent has wanted to tear their hair out at this time of the day.
If your child can’t do these 7 things, they’re not ready for school.