'This one dishwasher habit tells me everything I need to know about you.'

Let's talk about the elephant in the kitchen, shall we? The way you stack your dishwasher speaks volumes about who you are as a person. And if you're one of those heathens who place cutlery handles down, well, we need to have a serious chat.

I used to be like you, blissfully unaware of the chaos I was unleashing upon my household. But then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me: handles up is the only way to go. 

It's not just about efficiency; it's about respect for the very tools that nourish us.

Picture this: you're unloading the dishwasher, reaching for that sparkling clean fork, only to realize you've just smudged your grubby fingers all over the prongs. Congratulations, you've just undone all the hard work your trusty dishwasher put in. It's like painting a masterpiece and then dragging your sleeve through it before the paint dries.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But doesn't it clean better with the prongs facing up?" 

The answer is, of course, no. Technically speaking, dishwashers are pretty good at their job regardless of cutlery orientation. The eating side will get just as clean in its plastic cage as it will facing up to the rest of the dishwasher. 

The handles down method is more about the unpacking, to make sure the eating-side of the implement isn't touched between its journey from dishwasher to the drawer.

Handles down is the only way to go, IMO. Image: Getty

In my humble opinion, when you place those handles up, you're making a statement. You're saying, "I care about the sanctity of my eating utensils." You're declaring to the world (or at least to your family) that you're a forward-thinker, a visionary who values hygiene and efficiency in equal measure.

And let's not forget the added bonus of safety. Reaching into a forest of upward-pointing knives is a game of culinary Russian roulette I'd rather not play, thank you very much. 

With handles up, you're less likely to impale yourself while fishing for that elusive teaspoon hiding at the bottom of the cutlery basket.

Now, I can already hear the naysayers. "But what about water pooling in the spoon curves?" To which I say: have you ever heard of gravity? Give those utensils a little shake as you're unloading, and voila! Problem solved. It's not rocket science, folks.

I'll admit, my passion for proper dishwasher stacking has caused a few raised eyebrows. My partner once caught me rearranging the cutlery basket at 2 AM, muttering about handle alignment. But you know what? I regret nothing. 

This is the hill I've chosen to die on, and I'll defend it with the ferocity of a mama bear protecting her cubs.

So, the next time you're loading up that dishwasher, take a moment to consider your choices. Are you a handles-up revolutionary, or are you content to live in the dark ages of cutlery confusion? Your decision may seem insignificant, but trust me, it speaks volumes about your character.

Feature image: TikTok