I thought my son had run out of questions that would shock the hell out of me. I was wrong.
My son came home from a birthday party that has been the talk of his class for the past few weeks. It was for one of his best friends. He knew there was going to be a one-hour Hummer limo ride, lots of fun with all of his friends and heaps of junk food.
That day Philip and all his 10-year-old cohorts weren’t disappointed. The Hummer limo ride was the obvious highlight. They ate lollies and, “We drank Fanta out of beer glasses Mum”, so all in all, it was a brilliant day. I asked him if they were well-behaved and he looked at me blankly for a moment. Then he told me that his friend had plugged his iPod into the Hummer limo and they had listened to some ‘awesome’ music.
“Have you heard the new Snoop song Mum?”
I had been hoping to raise my children without Snoop Dogg's charming influence. As far as I knew he was completely obsolete. I clung to this. I was comforted by this. But it seems he's re-emerged, just in time to become a negative influence on a new generation, namely my son and all his friends.
His new song is called, "Wiggle" and he's collaborated with Jason Derulo. The song says, "Whatcha gonna do with that big fat butt? Wiggle, wiggle wiggle" and so on and so forth.
I didn't feel the need to listen to the entire song until my son asked me this question over dinner:
"Mum, what's a hooker?"
My husband spat rice all over the table and then my four-year-old daughter said, "Yeah Mum, what's a hook?" At this we all burst out laughing, including my younger son Giovanni who had no idea what was so funny.
But I digress.
"I'll tell you Philip," I said, "but a bit later."
So, now over to you my trusted mummy community. What on earth do I say?
By the way, thanks a lot Snoop Dogg. Thanks a lot.
What is the most difficult question you've ever been asked by one of your children?
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