by SHANKARI CHANDRAN
“Snatch it Sophie, snatch it!”
Sorry, did that parent just say “Snatch it?”
Surely she meant “Catch it Sophie, catch it!”?
It was a chilly Saturday morning at the netball courts of north Sydney and it was possible that my inner ear had frozen into stasis. Or perhaps it was premature rigor mortis setting in, it really was damn cold. I thought I must have heard wrong.
But there it was again, “Snatch it Sophie, pull it, PULL IT!” shouted the mummy as her daughter and a girl from the opposing team each held onto the ball tightly, both eyeing the under-aged umpire nervously. Or were they eyeing Scary Netball Mummy fearfully? I was certainly afraid. I wanted to snatch my child (and hide in a warm bed); it was all a little too early in the morning for such hardcore parental “guidance”.
Scary Netball Mummy is not alone at our local netball association. There is also Scary Netball Daddy. I know it’s not politically correct to say this but my heart sinks when I realise we’re playing his daughter’s team. I just haven’t had enough coffee by 8am to get through his impersonation of Al Pacino in an NFL block buster.
There’s the excoriating tone, the bullish pacing and the heated huffing as he shouts at Heidi “Focus Heidi, focus! Eyes on the ball! Get in there. GET IN THERE!”
Heidi’s coach recently saw my concerned expression during a game and tried to reassure me, saying that Heidi’s father just wanted her to try her best. I want Heidi to try her best too; I just don’t want her to have daddy issues and a steroid addiction by the time she reaches the U13s.
I’m also not convinced that shouting certain things in certain ways is actually helpful to our children. I think there’s a difference between constructive guidance and “Use your elbows!”
I should have known this was coming. At the start of the season, our pint-sized professional ball droppers graduated from the sheltered world of Netta (a relaxed game for the littlies) to the harsher world of netball (a proper game, real rules). I remember hearing a coach/mother say to her team of fresh-faced 8 year olds “This is netball now girls, we’re not in Netta anymore. Remember that.”
I do remember that, and the netball association’s rule that prohibits parents from yelling at their children from the sidelines. I have been known to break this rule, shouting (sweetly, honestly) at my daughter “No darling, no, run the other way. The other way!” I’m yet to yell “Snatch it, pull it!” but my time may come.
I know I’ve thought it, just quietly. There’s a difference between thinking it and saying it, but maybe I too am on a slippery slope and I’m not that far away from accessing (or unleashing) my inner-Al Pacino. For my daughter’s sake, I certainly hope not!
Shankari Chandran is a recent returner after ten years in London. Formerly a social justice lawyer, Shankari chronicles the day-to-day of her family’s return on her blog.
Have you ever encountered parents who take their kids’ sporting activities a little too seriously?
What is the worst thing you’ve heard parents yell at their kids from the sporting sidelines? Is it helpful or harmful?
Top Comments
I have two daughters 12 and 14 that both play basketball and netball. My eldest daughter played squad netball earlier this year and has just been asked to join the squad basketball team during training.
I have to say with out those wonderful coaches that at times do have to yell from the side lines certain things to help them be more aggressive for the game. Standing back and letting your oponent get it, is "not" netball nor basketball. The kids that learn to attach and defend and aren't scared to have a go, which often will only come with practise and confidence are the ones that become the kid that is handy at helping the team "not" get flogged each week.
Call it hard, I have watched my children be in teams that have bean beaten week after week and you can see them slump and not enjoy it as much. When they win occasionaly they do actually get a bit of a kick out of it. Unfortunately sports are ment to be fun, but they are also ment to be competative. My youngest, a few weeks ago was given a job to do for the game in basketball by her coach, she was asked this game I want you to have a go at snatching a ball. She did (three years of basketball, first snatch) she come home most excited because for once she had managed a snatch instead of it always being snatched from her, now it is a regular part of her game.
My eldest daughter has just said No to playing squad basketball because it wont be fun. I cannot change her mind and it is a shame that she is giving up a once in a life time opportunity of expereince and bettering herself because it "wont be fun". How do you explain to your children that sports isn't always about fun, it's that satisfaction of getting better at something you love playing!
I remember my mother used to yell 'Break her back!" during my tennis games.
I also remember coming home with a fourth place ribbon from a running carnival and proudly showing my dad, only to have him yell at me for not coming first!
I can't wait to have kids so I can raise them in a positive way and empower them by setting good examples. I'm lucky my partner is the most diplomatic, rational and caring man ever, he will make a great dad :)