I knew this day would come, I knew someone would ask, and now I have to frantically come up with an awkward lie, that we both know is a lie when I say no.
SLEEPOVERS.
“Does Leto want to come for a sleep over?” asks our school friend.
I panicked, “What do I say?”
I watch Shaun’s face for a reply, “Nup, they can’t, we can’t, we can’t”
“Tell her the truth” he says….
“hmmm, thats awkward”…I mumble quietly… holding my phone in my hand….
……I write a text saying “He can’t tonight because we’re busy” but I don’t send it, thats not being true to myself.
I rewrite it 10 times and delete it 10 times.
I mean I know her, I’ve met the husband once or twice, I trust them, I know them. They are good people, right?
I write another text “maybe another time” and hope they don’t ask again just to save both of us from the following awkward conversation; “I’m sorry, I’m really messed up so my kids can’t sleep over because you or someone you know might sexually abuse them?..
But I didn’t send that either.
Top Comments
I remember as a kid my mum organised a sleep over at a school friend's house. I was an incredibly anxious and worried child (and I'm the same as an adult) and remember being so stressed and apprehensive about staying at someone's house with people that were generally strangers to me. I was particularly scared about the dad being there as I didn't know him. I didn't want to stay there but felt like I had to. I counted the seconds until it was over and I could go home to my family. This memory has stayed with me my whole life.
I think "We don't do sleepovers, thanks for your kind invitation though" is sufficient - you don't have to explain yourself as the parent.
Saying that, hopefully this anxiety does not extend to group settings. If so, it is a shame as getting kids out on scout camps, hiking, air cadets, school sport trips are where some real leadership and practical creativity skills develop. As the availability of "sheeple" jobs continues to dry up and can be off-shored or mechanised, the abilitiy to dynamically operate in changing environments is more critical. I work overseas and Aussie expats are dynamic and out of the box thinkers compared to wrote learned and socialized professional Tanzanians or Koreans for instance.
We have some way to go to help people "get over" trauma, as medicine and technology improves, hopefully the techniques to reduce long term over-sensitivity to related stimulus also improves and allows for PTSD impacted people to live with proper risk assessed decision making instead of anxiety guided decisions. No easy answers though.