What it's like to be a Big Sister with SISTER2sister.

Lisa Rees Allen is a Big Sister in the SISTER2sister mentoring program, which helps underprivileged girls from across New South Wales and Victoria develop confidence, life skills and overcome various challenges that they’ve encountered in their young lives. Each girl that enters the year-long program is partnered with a Big Sister who acts as a mentor, source of support and a witness to their journey. Coming to the end of the 2016 program, Lisa shares her experience of being a Big Sister and the impact it has had on her life.   

What were we all feeling as when we stood on the 16th of April waiting to meet out little sisters? Nerves? Excitement? Anticipation? We were ready to take on the world – or at least a teenage girl. How hard could it be, right?

Truth be told, we all felt all of these emotions at some point over the past few months. It is fair to say it has been a little like a roller coaster; some highs and lows, some scary moments but in the end, all worth it.

So what is it like to be a Big Sister? When I asked the Big Sisters to give me one word to describe their experiences this year, this is what they came back with: inspiring, uplifting, rewarding, meaningful, grounding, and (my favourite) salted caramel ice cream. We all know that we are walking away with an experience of a lifetime.

"We are walking away with an experience of a lifetime." Image: Supplied.

The key part of that experience has been the relationships we have built both with each other and our coaches, Jess, Marnie, Linda but most importantly with our Little Sisters.

Like any relationship the “getting to know you” stage is not always easy. I read a quote the other day that I thought was applicable to the relationship between a big and little sister. It said: “Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

As Big Sisters, we have had to learn to stand back and put the needs of our Little Sisters first; to let them set the pace (even if a snail could move faster!) and to let them walk ahead of us when they need to, but also to know that they are never alone.

We have had to find the balance between saying too much or not enough. We have had to know when to say yes and when to say no, to know when to listen and not speak and to know when to push and when to leave well enough alone.

"We have had to learn to stand back and put the needs of our Little Sisters first." Image: Supplied.

We have learnt to have no expectations. Nothing will be what you expect it to be or happen like you expect it to happen. If there is one thing I have learnt in the two years I have been a Big Sister it is that nothing goes to plan. You will laugh and cry a lot but you cannot predict when or which you will do more of or why.

We have become masters of Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat & Messenger. We have learnt to type and talk with acronyms and emojis. We have surfed, cooked, trapezed, gone on rollercoasters, literally, danced, sang and tried sports I never thought I ever would have tried.

We have sat quietly and held our Little Sisters hands as they have faced some of their biggest fears or demons, and felt helpless as we knew this was their journey and one that they alone have to travel in order to heal and grow. We have tried to be a support in the best way we can by making sure the girls know we are here when they need us.

It has not always been easy. They don’t pick up when we call, they run out of airtime, they don’t return messages or they forget it is an outing that weekend.

That’s okay - we aren’t going anywhere.

"We are here when they need us." Image: Supplied.

Nurturing a relationship takes time. It takes time to know that someone will always be there for you, no matter what is said or done to try and push them away.

It takes time to build trust. It is tested and pushed before it is accepted.

It takes time to open yourself up to be loved by someone you have only just met.

It takes time and effort to get to know each other – your likes and dislikes, what makes you laugh or cry.

It takes time to know that when your Big Sister says she will do something, she will actually come through.

It takes time to know that if there is one other person in this world that you can always rely on and it is the woman sitting next to you.

"It takes time and effort to get to know each other." Image: Supplied.

It has been a privilege to get to know each of the little sisters who have each grown in confidence over these past few months.

To my little sister Ebony – what can I say? I have learnt from your beautiful spirit, quick smile and loving nature. It is my hope that our relationship will continue to grow and I look forward to watching you discover what you want to do and who you want to be.

It has been a privilege to meet and get to know the beautiful Big Sisters. It takes something special to be a Big Sister – to give not just your time but also yourself. I have seen each Big Sister give the girls a part of their heart and I truly hope they acknowledge what a gift that is.

We are all here for different reasons but the one thing that binds us is the belief that every girl or woman deserves to love, respect and believe in herself. What each Big Sister has done for their Little Sisters is to take her one step closer to that.

Lastly, none of us would be here if it weren’t for the extraordinary women who make all of this possible - Jessica, Marnee, Linda, Louise, LeeAnne and Jane. We all thank you for your vision, commitment and tireless efforts to make the wheels move so smoothly for each and every outing and for each one of us. We are truly blessed to know you and be a part of this wonderful family you have created.

If you're interested in becoming a Big Sister in 2017, visit the Life Changing Experiences Foundation to learn more.