16 modern signs your relationship is getting serious.

May 30, 2015

Image via Sony Pictures

Ah, modern love.

With love (or lust) just a swipe away, it seems like we’re no longer coyly meeting our partners in the local bookstore, leaving numbers on coffee shop napkins or clumsily walking into our soulmates on a busy street only to look up and fall instantly in love, as depicted in every romantic comedy ever.

(Or maybe you do, but you’re too busy looking at Tinder on your phone to pay any attention.)

As a result, the relationship milestones that indicate a casual relationship is becoming, well, committed have also changed.

"For our parents, it used to be that you dated, decided you were monogamous, then starting looking for a house together. Now you can live together and that doesn't necessarily mean it's serious," says relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein.

“What we are seeing now are relationships breaking from traditional moulds - we’re no longer subscribing to what society, religion or parents expect from us, instead deciding what we want as individuals."

So forget meeting the parents, these are the 16 modern signs a relationship is getting serious.

1. You delete your Tinder accounts. Together.

It's all too easy to hop on, do some swiping and see if there's anything better out there. Deleting your Tinder accounts (bonus points if you do it together) shows this is no casual relationship. You're exclusive now.

2. You commit to watching a box set series together.

Potentially the strongest show of modern commitment, everyone knows that once you decide to watch a series together, you're in it for the long haul (bonus points if it goes for more than three seasons.) It's also an unspoken promise that you'll only watch it with each other... or else.

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3. You make it Facebook official.

Making that status change to announce to your nearest and dearest 800 Facebook friends that you're in a relationship is no small step. Why? Facebook official is the real deal. It means you're willing to take the risk of everyone publicly knowing if you break up.

4. You post couple photos on social media

Whether it's the two of you chilling out on the sofa, enjoying a day out, or those all-too popular sleeping photos, posting a picture of the two of you that's not the typical green smoothie/night out/post-gym selfie shows you mean business. (Post continues after gallery.)

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5. You'd rather stay in together than go out.

Going out in the cold to a packed sweaty bar with overpriced drinks? Not so attractive when cuddles and Netflix wait for you at home (and you don't even have to change out of your pyjamas!)

6. It's assumed you'll spend the night together.

No longer do you have to send those "What are you up to tonight?"suggestive cryptic texts you spent hours composing. Now, it's a given you'll sleep over most nights and you've even claimed a side of their bed for your own.

7. You've memorised each other's mobile numbers.

A 10 digit number? That's a lot to commit to memory when you have wi-fi passwords and other important things to remember. Knowing it off by heart = serious dedication.

8. You always refer to yourselves as 'we'.

"Dinner next week? Oh, we'd love to come!" An invitation is no longer just for one person - you come as a package deal. For better or worse.

9. You check what they're doing before you make other plans.

Because the best nights are spent with them. (Girlfriends excluded, obviously)

10.You've farted/burped in front of each other.

The most testing experience a new couple will go through. Farted and burped in front of each other and can still look the other person in the eye? Thing's are getting serious.

11. You've made holiday plans together.

"Anything that involves making plans for the future means it's serious," says Dr Goldstein.

"So that could be saying, 'Let's save up and go to Europe next year!' which means you plan to be together for at least another year. Otherwise it could be moving in together or talking about buying an investment property."

12. You no longer have sex every night.

No longer is every night a steamy affair... sometimes (shock horror!) you'll stay over and not have sex at all. When you do, you're no longer afraid to be more specific about what you do (and don't) like. (Post continues after gallery.)

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13. You no longer bother with your fancy underwear.

It's a lot of effort to make sure you have matching bras and undies that are clean to wear every morning. Fancy lingerie sets are saved for special occasions rather than every date, and he's well acquainted with your favourite pair of comfy undies.

14. When you call each other rather than text.

You no longer wait around for them to reply to your text - if you need something, you can pick up the phone and ask straight away. You'd also rather have a phone call conversation where you can hear their voice when you're talking about your day.

15. You've seen each other's bad habits.

Plucking your chin hairs, shaving your underarms, picking toenails and maybe even leaving the door slightly ajar when you go to the bathroom. If you feel comfortable enough to show each other your gross habits, then things are pretty serious.

16. You become more relaxed with contraception.

This is one for the really long-term couples. Not a decision to be taken lightly, once monogamy is established, many couples become more relaxed when it comes to using condoms or staying on the Pill. With everyone well aware that sex without contraception leads to babies, Dr Goldstein says many couples are leaving this decision up to chance, with the mindset of saying "If it happens, it happens."

"There's no greater example of commitment than a baby," she says. "So if you're open to pro-creating then you're definitely taking your relationship seriously." (Post continues after gallery.)

Popular forms of birth control

Contraceptive pillThe Pillis the most popular form of birth control. There are two types: the combined pill, containing two hormones, and theprogestogen-only, or mini, pill, which only contains one female hormone. The combined pill works by preventing the ovary from releasing an egg each month. The mini pill changes the mucus at the entrance of the uterus, which stops sperm from entering. Both are 99.7% effective; however, they don't offer protection from STDs.

Intrauterine deviceIUDs are small, T-shaped devices that are inserted into the uterus by a doctor in order to prevent pregnancy. There are two types of IUD: copper, which affects the movement and survival of sperm in the womb while changing the lining of the womb;and hormonal, which releases progestogen (a synthetic version of the naturally-occurring hormone progesterone) into the uterus. Although IUDs have a success rate of more than 99%, only around 2% of Australian women currently use one.

CondomsThe male condom is a barrier contraception that prevents both pregnancy and the transmission of STDs. They work by collecting semen so it doesn't enter theman's partner's body. Condoms are 95 to 99% effective at preventing pregnancy.

The female condomThe female condom is a pre-lubricated sheath, which loosely fits inside of the vagina. The condom has a removable ring, which helps to insert the sheath and keep the condom in place. A larger ring remains on the outside to cover the opening of the vagina. They are designed to fit all women and can only to be used once. Due to misuse of the product it is only 79 per cent effective.

DiaphragmLike the male condom, the diaphragm is a barrier method of contraception. It's a shallow silicone dome that's inserted into the vagina andcovers the cervix, which is the entrance to the uterus. It's held in place by the pelvic muscles, and works by preventing sperm from entering the uterus. After sex, diaphragms need to remain in placefor another six hours, in which time the sperm inside the vagina die. This method is 88 to 94% effective at preventing pregnancy, although this rate increases with experience.

Birth control implantThis is a 4cm-longimplant that is inserted into a woman's upper arm, just under the skin, by a doctor. It releases a hormone called etonogestrel, which prevents ovulation and thickens the mucus in the cervix, which can stop sperm from entering. Contraceptive implants - usually sold as Implanon - are removed under anaesthetic every three years, and are close to 100% effective.

Vaginal ringVaginal rings are soft plastic rings that contain the same two hormones as the combined pill - oestrogen and progestogen. The ring is inserted into the vagina, where the hormones are absorbed into the body and then prevent the ovaries from releasing eggs. Once inside the ring can't be felt, and it needs replacing every three weeks (with one week's break in between). When used correctly, this method is more than 99% effective.

Depo ProveraDepo is a long lasting hormonal injection. The synthetic form of progesterone is administered every 12 to 14 weeks to woman, preventing pregnancy within this ongoing time period. The injection, which is given in the buttock or muscle of the upper arm, prevents ovulation and thickens the mucus in the cervix, helping to block sperm. The injections are 99 per cent effective but do not protect against STDs. Male contraceptive injections are currently being trialled

The morning after pillEmergency contraception (popularly referred to as the morning after pill) is used to prevent a pregnancy following unprotected sex. Other reasons include missing a contraceptive pill or a condom breaking. It is common in Australia to use the progestogen-only method. This entails a dosage of EC pills containing progestogen or the synthetic version. A doctor can prescribe the pill or they can be bought over the counter at a pharmacy without a prescription. Emergency contraceptionis 85 per cent effective in reducing the risk of pregnancy.

SterilisationSterilisation is a permanent form of contraception. For women there are two types of sterilisation: tubal ligation, in which clips are placed on the fallopian tubes, or tubal occlusion in which a device is inserted into the tubes. These methods work by preventing the sperm from reaching the egg. Tubal litigation is 99.5 per cent effective. The Vasectomy (for men) works by cutting and blocking the tubes called the vas deferens, preventing sperm from leaving the testicles. The chances of impregnation with a vasectomy are 1 in 1000.

And how do you know when a relationship is worth taking to that next level?

"You know when you prefer to be with them, rather than not," says Dr Goldstein.

"When they're the person you gravitate to - when you need help, to get advice or even just tell about your day. When you can't imagine living without them - that's a very good sign!"

Do you think a relationship is serious when these things happen? Any signs that we missed?

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