FINALLY: Scientists have given us an answer on whether or not we should shave our pubes.

By ROSIE WATERLAND

Legitimate science people have revealed legitimate science information about pube shaving, and it has blown the whole god damn system WIDE OPEN.

The general consensus has always been that if you ever make the mistake of shaving your special area, the pubes will take on a life of their own and grow back TEN FREAKING FOLD – in thickness and length.

The secret has been passed on by generations of women who have supposedly learned the hard way: Taking a razor to your pubes absolutely guarantees your lady-garden will mutate into a horrifying werewolf with a beard that reaches your knees.

Well, guess what my friends?

LIES. IT’S ALL LIES!

Science says so.

A recent article in the Scientific American (check the ‘scientific’ in the title – so legit) has revealed that pube shaving does not, in fact, make one’s pubes grow back thicker and/or longer. YOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVED, PEOPLE.

A science person who obviously specialises in debunking myths about pube removal (Amy McMichael from the Department of Dermatology at Wake Forest Baptist Health), told Scientific America that the urban legend about pube shaving can be attributed to people being slightly delusional when it comes to their sex beards: “People are just not very good observers,” she says. “But there’s just no science behind hair growing back thicker.”

Still not convinced? Check out this truth bomb:

“The very act of cutting may make hair appear thicker for a short time. A human hair shaft is like a pencil or javelin that tapers at the end. So when a razor slices away the tip, it may appear that the remaining hair, and subsequent stubble, is thicker or darker than it was before the cut. Those short hairs, sticking straight up from their follicles, may even appear coarser. But cutting away part of the hair does not typically change anything about that regrowth process. The tapered hair you had is the hair you’ll get back. (Although, in rare instances, excessive waxing, which tears a hair from its root, can eventually reduce growth from certain hair follicles due to the repeated trauma).”

So basically, everything you know about everything is a lie and the very fabric on which you base your sorry existence is unravelling before your sad and confused eyes.

Do with this important scientific discovery what you will. I am merely the pubic news vessel.

H/T Jezebel

Follow @RosieWaterland

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