Police in the US are reportedly giving five and six-year-old kids fines for bullying.
This is happening in the City of Carson, in California, and the fines are for up to $200.
The Houston Chronicle recently reported:
Bullying. Of course there should be a punishment. But should it really involve the cops?
The Carson City Council gave preliminary approval this week to an ordinance that would target anyone from kindergarten to age 25 who makes another person feel “terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested” with no legitimate purpose.
…First-time offenders could be ticketed for an infraction and fined $100. A second infraction would cost $200, and a third-time offense could bring a criminal misdemeanor charge.
“If a child is bullying someone, and a parent has to pay a $100 fine as a result of that, a responsible parent will realize their child needs some help,” said Councilman Mike Gipson, who introduced the ordinance and is spearheading a campaign to make Carson bully-free.
Putting aside for a moment the amount of pocket money Carson’s five year olds must be getting to cover that kind of fine, the idea that preschool issues should be dealt with by the police and not teachers and parents is, to me, wrong on so many levels.
Let’s start with the question of ‘bullying’. I absolutely agree with the definition given. No child – or person, of any age should be terrorised, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested.’
But – and I realise I’m on shaky ground here, I do believe the word is overused. It’s become shorthand for, ‘being mean.’ And ‘being mean,’ although not nice, is hardly criminal behaviour. Kids are canny – they know the phrase, ‘I’m being bullied’ is a siren, guaranteed to get attention, sympathy and action.
When my daughter was in her first year of school, she came home and told me, tearfully, that she was being bullied. Naturally, I made her a milkshake and bought her a pony before wrapping her in my loving arms and asking what, exactly, was happening.
‘Well, Ingrid always wants to play unicorns and I’m tired of that and want to play something different so Sigrid just went and played unicorns with Olivia and Lulu and now they do it every day.’
Now you see, that’s not bullying in my book. Lucky for Ingrid she doesn’t live in Carson City or she’d be slapped with a misdemeanour. And I know her disposable income isn’t nearly enough to cover the fines, so she might well have ended up in the big house.
‘Do Ingrid and the other unicorns say you can’t play with them?’ No.
‘Do they hurt you or scare you?’ No.
‘So they’re not bullying. They’re not even being mean. They just what to play something you don’t want to play. They’re allowed to do that. So are you. So don’t worry about it and play with somebody else. Next week they’ll probably play your game.’
So that’s unicorn-exclusion sorted.
But what about kids who whack with sandpit shovels, squirt paint into lunch boxes, pull hair, pinch, kick, mock and tease and worse? Those things happen in kindy, preschool, prep … whatever you call it in your state and they’re horrible. Is it a matter for the police, though?
“Bullying isn’t acceptable, ever.”
Maybe it is.
Talk to enough teachers and you’ll hear of parents who just don’t care. Parents who’ve outsourced child-rearing to the point they want things like manners, respect and kindness taught along with reading, writing and craft. These parents ignore requests for meetings with teachers and will side with their kids no matter what. Nothing is ever their child’s fault and everyone should take a spoonful of cement and harden up.
Perhaps nothing will talk to these folk like a $100 fine and a criminal record.
Has it really come to that? Have teachers, police and courts not got better things to do than sort out playground barneys?
Because in the end – you can see it, can’t you? It’ll be about the parents, not the kids. The kids will go right on chucking Lego and being selective about their unicorn fights while the adults around them point fingers, file complaints and wait for someone else to clean up the mess they themselves created.
What do you think about the idea of addressing bullying in schools, through the police? Should there be laws against bullying
Top Comments
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I have to say, Ive always said if my kids were being bullied - as in, legitimately bullied - I would give the school/teacher/principal one chance to address the issue appropriately. If, after consulting with them, I didn't think they were taking it seriously, I would get the police involved.
I was maliciously bullied at school, and it made my life hell. The school never took it seriously, despite the fact I had to be pulled out of two different classes to be kept away from the bullies. Their solution was to have a meeting with me and the bullies, for them to give me a completely insincere apology, and then have detention where they had to write me a letter saying why what they had done was wrong. Then, the school considered the matter dealt with. Nothing had changed at all - except now the school could say "we tried".
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that schools don't take bullying seriously. Now more than when I was at school, they do. But, they only have a certain scope when it comes to punishment or controlling the behaviour of their students. The kids know it, too. And so do the parents of the bullies. The police on the other hand, make the parents of those bullies actually sit up and take notice, and makes these kids take the consequences of their shocking behaviour a lot more seriously.
I completely agree with what they are doing - it applies up to age 25, so although yes it talks about kindergarteners, it is not just a bunch of five year olds having the police show up to their house. I'd say if their definition is “terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested” with no legitimate purpose, then the fines would only be handed out on behalf of those actually being bullied. Having said that, don't think for a second young kids can't be bullies. My son was only in grade 1, hadn't yet turned 6, and was being bullied by a girl in his class - when I say bullied, I mean he was being verbally put down constantly and she tried to push him down the stairs constantly. I only found out when I volunteered in his classroom one day, and this girl didn't realise whos mother I was. My son (who is very shy) finally told me what had been going on at that point, and said he had told his teacher but her solution was to tell him to ignore it. Ignore being pushed down the stairs and being constantly told how dumb and useless you are? No thanks. That is not ok. While it may not have been directly this girl's fault, as she was only 6 herself, the school was obviously not taking it seriously due to their age, and her parents had the attitude of "oh, they're only young, its just a kid thing"...um, no. I'm sorry, but if your six year old is being verbally vicious (not just a bit mean) and is deliberately trying to physically harm another child, that is not "just a kid thing". if the school isn't going to take action, and the parents don't care or just aren't being made aware of the problem then a visit from the police would have made both the teacher take more notice and let her parents know there was an actual problem with their child's behaviour, lest she become a full fledged bully by the time high school rolled around.
I do agree that the word "bullying" is becoming used so much that it is starting to lose its meaning. But I also think that this is a great idea for those kids who are legitimately being bullied and don't feel like they have any way to get people to take them seriously.